So remember those days long passed where I would post biased, inane reviews of films and then continuously promise to update with reviews of Disney Sequels? Well, those days are back and no, I still am not reviewing Disney Sequels. Aww.
I recently reviewed Kung Fu Panda 2, and that review can be found here.
Now then, Back at the beginning of the 2010-2011 school year I promised to do Pirates of the Caribbean. Well, I'm finally doing it. For the sake of not having to write Pirates of the Caribbean fifty bajillion times, I'm using the subtitle as if it's the only part of the movie's title.
Welcome to See It or Skip It,
The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)First off, this movie makes me glad that everyone hated Treasure Planet and Disney lost $80 million because of it. 'Cause had Treasure Planet been a success this film franchise would have been animated. Now I'm glad that one of my favorite Disney animated movies is generally hated by the critics and the public.
Anyway, this movie is considerably more easy to follow than its sequels. And Jack is totally hilarious. Plot-wise, this is pretty much the best movie of the series. That being said, it's also the least outragious and least rediculous, and part of me loves the insanity that keeps happening later on in the movies.
The music is nice, the acting is awesome, and... actually, scratch that last one. I can't stand Elizabeth Swann, and I'm not sure if that's because I can't stand her actor or if the character simply ticks me off. Eh, Johnny Depp is more than enough to make me ignore my usual hatred of the female characters in films. (Yes, that's right, I am extremely sexist. Against my own sex, no less.)
I think the characters besides Elizabeth are best in this movie. After all, the constant backstabbing of EVERYONE got annoying later, but now it's fine because Jack's the only one doing it. Plus, undead pirates are so much cooler when they turn into skeletons. (Zombies are okay, but they aren't skeletons by night, so...)
Dead Man's Chest (2006)Alright, I'll admit that the cliffhanger ending got both a "OH NO THEY DIDN'T" and a "WHAT THE SNAP IS HAPPENING" out of me, and nothing could solve these unhappy feelings until I saw the next movie. But the lead-up to it is fun, and the "everyone is fighting" scene on that island with the randomly-there mill is pretty dang awesome. No, there's no substance to it, and I'm still not entirely sure WHY everyone is fighting, but who cares about the plot when you have gravity-defying battle sequences?
And yes, there is a plot. I just haven't figured it out yet. Haha.
Kidding, I know the plot. It's just so out-there and kudzu-like that I couldn't describe it in three paragraphs. It's like Kingdom Hearts, which is funny if you consider that PotC was in KH2. Just know that Will is sad, Elizabeth is lusty, Jack is crazy, Davy Jones is an octopus, and the Flying Dutchman isn't a person.
The biggest problem is that I can't understand a single word Tia Dalma says. It's incredibly flabbergasting. This is why subtitles are so wonderful: without them I would have no idea what is going on, and since it's already hard to follow from the get-go I can only imagine how confused I'd be afterward.
At World's End (2007)Much "Darker and Edgier" than the other movies, which becomes incredibly apparent if you watch each in rapid succession. Pretty obvious right from the start of the film, actually, when everyone including a little boy is being hung and sings a song of how awesome they are as they face their end.
I personally love things that are depressing and dark, so naturally I liked this movie. This one is my personal favorite of the series, but Adeola is the only person I know who feels the same way. Most everyone else HATES this one. I don't know exactly why, they just do. To cite my mother, "I was tired of the same story. I didn't like the turn the Elizabeth/Will romance took. I was sick of their romance, their story. I never really felt like they were well-matched or suited well. It was a little too out there for me."
I'll say one thing, I agree with my mom on the first count. I like Will, but Elizabeth sucks so much and should just die. (the marriage scene and stabbing scene were awesome, though) Though I have to say I like things that are out-there, so the crazy-ness actually appealed to me. And whirlpools are pretty cool, so that sure helped.
On Stranger Tides (2011)This one ws difficult, considering it wasn't bad per se, it just was worse. I got my wish for no more Elizabeth, but it seems without them the writers were forced to randomly inserting a romance between a Bible fanatic and a mermaid. Not to mention pair up Jack with some random girl just because they apparently have a backstory together.
Oh yeah, and zombies are gross. And I don't think mermaids work that way. My understanding of course comes from the original story of The Little Marmaid, where mermaids are said to live long lifetimes but have no souls and just disolve when they die. 'Course, this only made the Bible fanatic's love for her more hilarious to me.
There wasn't much awesomeness in this movie, and evne I felt there was too much insanity. It was already rediculous, but this one jumped the shark. Blackbeard sorta got on my nerves, which surprised me considering he was played by Ian McShane, AKA my lovely Tai Lung. And strangely, I felt Jack was really off and just not as funny. I usually worship the ground Johnny Depp walks on, but this time I just felt his performance was soggy. Haha, pun.
Basically, this movie wasn't terrible but it wasn't even close to amazing. When choosing between this and Kung Fu Panda 2, go with the latter.
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