Have I ever thought about it? Yes I have.
I have actually gotten about 3 minutes away from it until my mom came home and beat my senselessly and disowned me and left me there with internal bruising. She also yelled at my for hours on what happens in mental asylums, which was where she would send me if I didn't start being happy again.
REALIZE THAT DOESN'T HELP!!!
And when my dad and brother got home, they tried to make he happy with fried chicken and grape soda (ok I'm not THAT black jezzz....racist b*****d...) but anyways I was feeling horrible for about 4 months with 10 other attempts...but my boyfriend always knew when I was about to kill myself when I started acting really weird and unsocial and depressed. He'd always come over and hug me really tight and kiss my forehead saying everything would be ok. But things never got better...
After my mother had hurt me, my brother started verbally abusing me and acting really sexual towards me. My father started yelling at me and complaining about everything I did.
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What Events Happened Afterwards
+My grades in school dropped from straight Bs to -Fs.
+ I learned I was a strep throat carrier ( went without treatment and currently still is )
+ I also learned I has Asthma (also without treatment and its getting worse )
+ I was diagnosed with bi-polar depression and was put on 10 different medications
+ I learned I had a serious sleeping disorder ( without treatment )
+ because of the near rape from my grandfather that involved a huge knife and anesthetics i may never be able to have children
+ I lost 20 pounds and still havnt gained it back ( i'm only 74 pounds and i should be 115 D: )
+ I started to have a eating disorder
+ I also still have internal bruising
My parents no longer like me. My dad keeps accusing me that I'm pregnant and I yell back that I'm still a virgin and he still stares at me weird seeing if I've gotten any bigger.
No one really like me except my friends and they seem more like my family for then my real family.
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What people have done to try to help
+ My mom sent me to a physiatrist who just terrorized me even more
FAILED
+ My current boyfriend asked ME to Sadies because he knew I was to shy to ask him
WORKED
+ I got arid of the “friends” that stabbed me in the heart
KINDA WORKED
+ I switched to online school to get away from the creepy teachers.
Kinda worked (im now failing a lot of classes cause im still sick)
I have thought
I have tried
but im always wishing that I'd get better...
and so far it hasn't
 BrokenTacos · Thu Nov 11, 2010 @ 11:48pm · 0 Comments |
