MagickalMoments: -sighs- i wish ian was online. i miss him. i've been offline all week.
Guest_Anatano: it's something about shinjy project
iNamiAmi: I am going to go anto
Guest_Anatano: oh you don't phone call him?
MagickalMoments: no i haven't called him anto because the number's stored in my cell and my cell is so dead i can't even turn it on and it has no min and idk where the charger is. and i don't have a home phone to use that has long distance so i'm sol.
Guest_Anatano: hummm....
Guest_Anatano: and didn't know you have admire following you....lol
MagickalMoments: lol.
MagickalMoments: right?
Guest_Anatano: like the one who follow you here and call me 'dude'
MagickalMoments: mhmmm
MagickalMoments: killme
MagickalMoments: XD
Guest_Anatano: no I wound't dare killing you....Ian would be very mad at me...lol
MagickalMoments: lol.
MagickalMoments: no that was the dude's username.
MagickalMoments: and i think he might take it a bit further than killing you. lol.
Guest_Anatano: yep I think so as well....lol
Guest_Anatano: at least we agree on that...lol
MagickalMoments: true true
MagickalMoments: lolz
Guest_Anatano: hope you talk to Ian soon
MagickalMoments: i hope so to.
MagickalMoments: if you see him after i get off can you let him know that i'll beonline tomorrow morning?
Guest_Anatano: sure
MagickalMoments: thanks
MagickalMoments: hey is ian's page blocked to you as well?
Guest_Anatano: idk didn try
MagickalMoments: well do you have ap?
Guest_Anatano: yes
MagickalMoments: k could you see if he set it to ap or just blocked everyone?
Guest_Anatano: yeah you need an ap to get to his home page
MagickalMoments: -sighs-
Guest_Anatano: what you wana see... i may go see it for you if you wish
MagickalMoments: no i just don't like how i feel like i'm being shut out.
Guest_Anatano: he didn't sut you out...he must have put some ... well you know smome material for ap
MagickalMoments: no he never touches his profile.
MagickalMoments: the only reason he has a layout was because i got on his acct and put it there. then he
Guest_Anatano: even the blog?
MagickalMoments: changed his password after we broke up which i could understand but he's
MagickalMoments: still kinda weird abt things.
MagickalMoments: and you can set the blog to certain people to see only.
Guest_Anatano: bah it's simply Ian
MagickalMoments: yeah... but i've been kinda insecure ever since that stupid message i ended up
MagickalMoments: getting from adorkablegoddess making me double think everything.
MagickalMoments: i'm not sure what to trust and what not to anymore.
Guest_Anatano: wht's wrong withthe msg?
MagickalMoments: she claimed she was his mistress and such and that he was cheating on me.
MagickalMoments: there's ntohing on ian's page claiming me as his so i honestly don't know if that's
MagickalMoments: how he feels about just me or just lies to me and says i'm the only one or w.e.
Guest_Anatano: if that can make you any better i don't put anything on my hp as well
Guest_Anatano: that's no body business to know who is special to me or not
MagickalMoments: well it's just the fact that he used to put these really romantic things he'd write about
MagickalMoments: me on there.
Guest_Anatano: i see your point
MagickalMoments: and now it feels like i'm just there on the sidelines.
MagickalMoments: a rebound if you will.
Guest_Anatano: somthing you must clarify with him
MagickalMoments: yeah but i never have the nerve to say what's on my mind to him because i'm afraid
MagickalMoments: of hurting him.
MagickalMoments: but i wouldn't mind him knowing how i feel.
Guest_Anatano: some pain is unavoidable if you want to pregress in a relatioship
MagickalMoments: i just cant get myself to tell him.
Guest_Anatano: why not?
MagickalMoments: yeah but i also don't know how to tell him.
Guest_Anatano: telling what you thing and having the courage to say it it's aprouve you care for him
Guest_Anatano: depend what you have to tell himè
MagickalMoments: but i do care for him more than anyone in the world.
Guest_Anatano: trust your intiontion
Guest_Anatano: or your guts feeling, he will respect your opinion
MagickalMoments: i don't even know what my intuition is.
MagickalMoments: yeah i know he'll listen and try to respect it... it's just.... idk. maybe i feel like i shouldn't
MagickalMoments: have to tell him.
Guest_Anatano: Ian understand alot, even if he doesn't show it... he is bright
Guest_Anatano: and smart
MagickalMoments: i know.
MagickalMoments: he's so much smarter than i am.
Guest_Anatano: even if you don,t tell him he may sence it
Guest_Anatano: everyone is smart on their own way
MagickalMoments: he wouldn't sense what it is that i want.
Guest_Anatano: i din't say he is a mind reader...
MagickalMoments: true.
MagickalMoments: it just hurts.
Guest_Anatano: let me ask you this...
MagickalMoments: ...
Guest_Anatano: who are you affraid of hurting: you or him?
MagickalMoments: both.
MagickalMoments: it hurts me so much to even think about it because i'm terrified of hurting him.
Guest_Anatano: how long can yu endire the pain?
Guest_Anatano: *endure
MagickalMoments: i usually just lock it deep inside me in some deep dark hole.
Guest_Anatano: I don't now the whole story but it's not healthy to keep feeling that hurt
MagickalMoments: i've learned to numb myself.
Guest_Anatano: you still feel insecure
MagickalMoments: if ian knew i was doing this though he'd be so upset.
MagickalMoments: yes i do.
Guest_Anatano: see? he care for you, he don't want you to get hurt
MagickalMoments: i know.
Guest_Anatano: as they say a good night give you advice...or something like that
MagickalMoments: no idea.
Guest_Anatano: i am sure you will find the rightsolution
MagickalMoments: i'm just thinking about saving this chat and letting him read it.
Guest_Anatano: that may be a solution
MagickalMoments: yeah i think i might do that.
MagickalMoments: it's like 10.30 right now.
Guest_Anatano: does it not suppose to stop at 10.00
MagickalMoments: it's not on a time limit. i'm just supposed to get offline.
MagickalMoments: and dad just saw i was still onine so i gotta go.
Guest_Anatano: take care
Guest_Anatano: catch you some other time
MagickalMoments: alright
MagickalMoments: goodnight anto.
MagickalMoments: and thanks.
Guest_Anatano: no problem
Guest_Anatano: sweet dreams
MagickalMoments: thanks. you too.
Guest_Anatano has left the chat
 Vivi_Gardens · Sun Jan 10, 2010 @ 03:34am · 0 Comments |
