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Happiness=Bliss=Ignorance=Stupidity |
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The first month of school I noticed I was very sensitive. Not physically, psychically.
I could tell what people were thinking and their emotions at the time by looking at them or touching them.
However that's been slowly fading away, as has my deep thought processes and analyzing process. Now it's all, blank. Literally, I feel like a bubble. I have been, cheerier too now that I think about it.
I also know that during the first month, if I asked for something or wanted something, it happen. I remember one of the last things I asked for, was something I had come to a conclusion of.
Everyone needs that one person whose always happy always smiling and always is there and helpful. I asked to be that person. Cause there's plenty of sad sacks and unhappy people around, and god knows waaay to many ignorant jerks and stuck ups. So if no one was gonna be the happy person, I asked to be that one. That way I know it would be done well.
So, if I'm that happy person now, does that mean that being happy means being dumb? It's like I'm content enough not to question or think deep about things. It could be because I've believe I've got life and why it is how it is figured out, or because happiness equals bliss, and bliss is ignorance, and ignorance, is of course, stupidity.
It is kinda funny that some people spend their entire lives trying to make a perfect Utopian society. Trying to think of that perfect way. The funny part is is that we already have a Utopian society. Really. The dictionary says a Utopian society has the perfect laws, life, everything. Well, our life right now is like that. If it was tried to be different, then it wouldn't be life. Life is about going through hardships and suffering, but also about having fun and being in the moment. It's not just about existence, it's about living, doing things, feeling things. If stuff was perfectually perfect, then it wouldn't be life, it just be existence.
Since I've figured that out, I stopped really questioning things, being sad, and just being upset. I realized that there is no reason to be. Sadness is just something that will pass when I will it too. The longer I draw on the things that make me feel sad, the worse. Because emotions really don't have a point to them. They just are there to help fuel Life. Emotions have helped push a lot of things in history, which is why they have not been removed from the gene pool.
I didn't start going neutral either, working as a drone with no feelings. Though I wanted that for a while, I realized that even though I may never get an interesting story, I could be that back ground character in someone elses. So instead of just being a waste of flesh, I decided to make my default happy. I just seem to be of more use this way.
However, this brings me back to my point. Since I've been "happy" I've gotten stupider. I notice my grades arn't as good as usual, I don't feel the need to write, the words don't come to me anymore. And I can't read people or things as well as before. I can tell their talking to me, I can feel it, but I can't hear what it's saying. It's almost frustrating. I know that I can read people and what not, I just can't hear them. My head feels like there's a big, blank void in it. There used to be thoughts and stuff in it, now it's just, blank. There's stuff in it too, but I can't open it. I can't focus or think or concentrate as well as before. It's, strange. I wonder if this is a natural thing, but I don't know. It's frustrating.
 x-l J i n x l-x · Wed Oct 07, 2009 @ 08:05pm · 0 Comments |
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