Do you think that when the days change that every time it happens you count the hours like the clock is telling you that you don’t have forever, but why not try to force the time to go faster or slower so you can hop through time to a better time and place or spend that moment you wish would never end. Seems that sometimes when you wish for things to change or get better they don’t because you believe things won’t change for the better… no one told me that things don’t get better but harder every minute of every day you’re here. Why are we put here? Is it to suffer through these hard times when sometimes things never really get better but just alter? I’ve tried everything to see what I can change in my life and it always ends bad like when someone gives you a gift for being you and remembers that you don’t give gifts to people every day , just because they are there and rips it away from your hands, but what if you can? It’s true that when you are with someone that you can see yourself being with when time goes by and later down the road you still see yourself with that person that gave you the ultimate gift that no one should ever take away from you…the gift of being wanted and having arms open to you that tell you they care and love who you are and everything about you…even if it’s the bad things you do they still wouldn’t change their heart to match your personality of love and hate. It’s the people that give you there heart and you give yours on a golden platter then they rip it away and throw it off into the clock that changes your position on life and dampens your existence. It leaves you vulnerable and unloved, no one should feel like they were once loved and yet it was taken away with a sudden silent pin drop. It’s the fact that everyone has that one flaw in which they decide in an instant or through time that what they do hurts everyone around them and unknowingly themselves. Can you honestly say you have never hurt someone and didn’t feel guilty or ashamed that you have taken what made them the happiest away and walked away like nothing ever happened? I wish someone would have told me the instant I really knew I could love someone was the same moment I knew I was eventually going to lose them. The way that people should love one another when they have completely opened their heart to that someone they found needs to be remembered, the wants and need to spend that time in which the clocks makes go by each moment brings you a step closer to the future or is it still the present time. I could honestly say that I’m not perfect and that I have done harm to those that I have loved but I know in my heart that not only did I hurt them I hurt myself, I am to live with those regrets for the rest of my life, but I chose to move on and learn from my mistakes.
I wanted to say everything and anything to everyone, but I keep my mouth shut for the consequences could be drastic and hurtful sometimes. I am in a relationship which is true, but the one thing that people don’t understand or realize when they are in a relationship is that it takes both people intertwined in this to make it work. When one falls the other is left broken hearted and shy’s away from that in which they cared for from the start. If you care for someone you’d want to be with them as much as you can learn everyday new things from them which make you happier than anything else. You get closer to them every moment you spend time with that person that keeps those butterflies in your stomach and those feelings in which you can actually be happy for as far as you can see your own future.
I started my relationship with those butterflies and a warm truth, the slight smile in the corner of my mouth in which I knew I was going to be happy, those feelings that everything was going great and finally I found someone I can call mine and keep them within my heart till the day time stops. I then realized with certain events that I started to replace those butterflies with empty vessels in which kept screaming to me that something isn’t right and to fix this. I tried everything I could and yet I was and am still losing that one person that caused those butterflies and real simple smiles that helped me understand that maybe things could get better… was I wrong to chose to leave myself wide open because I knew that maybe one day if I did do that, that maybe this time it won’t be broken by that someone I care for a lot. To tell you the truth I will say I’m ok and I’m use to it, but NO! That’s not something anyone should be use to and no one should make you feel like that. Tell me if I’m wrong I don’t care because I won’t care…
If anything when people say they care a lot about you and end up eventually scared of their own feelings or try and avoid the unavoidable…then eventually things will make that smile and those butterflies disappear and turn into an empty stomach and a sad expression where you find yourself in the same place as before they came along. If you care about someone it’s not just about words it’s about showing them you do and never forget the reason why you feel for them in the first place. There are thoughts of cheating and there are people that actually cheat on those they promised themselves they wouldn’t do that to b/c of their feelings for them. If you are a cheater then you shouldn’t be in a relationship in which is destined to fail from the beginning, that special person you picked out to be with will never feel true love or have a happy life...think twice before going there and the reason you started that relationship in the first place…it’s those butterflies in your stomach and that never ending smile and fulfillment in your heart that showed you the true meaning of being loved and wanted.
Can you change that in which is destined to fail, or can you make it so that you wouldn’t hurt the one you care so much about and help yourself understand why you’re with that person…?
Solar Foxx Community Member 
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