Sometimes I wonder. Why is it that the higher powers that be conspire against me? What have I done to be hated by these great beasts? What have I done to deserve my pain? No one suffers without good cause. Is it the fact that I have little faith in humanity? Or is it that I chase a dream I long for (Chaos_Angel7 knows of this dream, a few others do to, however she is an integrel part of it). Or is it because I have bound myself spiritually to the woman of my dreams, and fate is merely punishing me? Last night sucked for me, I fell asleep or attempted to doubled over in pain as the medicine ment to kill that which plagues me ravaged my body inside. It felt like somebody was reapeatidle stabbing me. I had to curl up into a ball and hold my face because of the pain. I just wish things for me will become good again. Why is it that I have bursts of good luck followed by a series of collapses of all that I have established?!?!. SOme friends of mine think I'm suicidal now, heh funny. I am not suicidal in anyway. Sure I have to terms with death. Hell I even worship death as one might worship god, or satan, or whomever they select as there diety. People just need to adjust to the fact that I have found some solace in my love of death. I worship death because it is the only proven thing out there. Do we know if god exists? NO! Do we know if Satan exists? NO! Christians, catholics, mormons, and all others please do not pray for me. Your words fall upon deaf ears that do not exist. I have much to attend to today, So I will write later-Azalin
 Azalin · Sun Nov 21, 2004 @ 05:21pm · 1 Comments |
