I know I shouldn't be scream pissed gonk after all it's not his fault he's a freshman. But for some reason I'm pissed. I liked him. and I was looking up to him I felt that he knew what he was doing, but he's only a target to balls. Maybe it's that he told me to grow up. What was I doing playing with ine of the kids. After all isn't that what junior counslers do? Maybe h was telling Nicole after all I was trying to look cool. Even what makes me more made is that I liked him. Well he is only a year younger than me what is the big deal. Maybe I'm just mad at myself. I can't seem to make him smile or notice me. Yup thatshim. He o it I'm just not ment to be with him. Maybe it's the fact I knew that I would get rejected if he knew, or that I would give up because I wouldn't want him to reject me.Yeait's me 100% e me me me. i'm giving up becuase I'm scared. I just noticed I always do this. I run away. I guess it's just becuase someone can show so much intrest in you, and lead you on with out knowing it, o you mistake them for liking you, and when you are bold enough to make a move they didn't of it that way, then they move youmess up or they never wante to be with you. It makes you think after a long time was I ever made for this world? Was I made to fall in love or be the crazy cat lady? I don't know I think I'm supposed to be the crazy cat lady. After all everything I do is becuase I feel bad, or I messed up, or I'm just not challenged enough. So let me take in all the cats in the world I can take them. The more work the better. I also think I'm not ment for this world, when the only people who don't get mad at me are the people i don't know on gaia. So I guess thats why I'm mad I also guess you have to be living the life to know.
Tomorrow I will wake at 7 as I hve done for the past 2 weeks. I will get ready try to look somewhat pretty. I will try to get to know heart Drake emo . He will move farther and farther away from me. Then I will give up all together, And I know it' coming. Or I won't give up and try for the next 6 weeks, then I will never see him AGAIN! burning_eyes Like Kevin. It was a few meetings and a few songs, after that you say stare Kevin stare , and I say that motherfuvker broke my God damn heart. I'll keep in touch my a**. So I will fake tomorrow. After all I'm no Jesus Christ. I might as well put the gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. 4laugh
emo Until the next time my life gets ******** up, emo
Ashlee xp
anonymous_hakura Community Member 
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