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There is no one to talk to, to vent on right now. It sucks copious amounts.
I feel like such an idiot.
Oh wait...thats what am..at least thats what I have been told.
At school in front of all those ignorant teenagers, i'm the one everyone is afraid of, the bad mouthed, force to be recconed with. Not only that but i'm considered stupid, I get insulted every single day becuase I'm apparently retarded.
Those stpid people...
I guess it's more my fault though. I wish I could CHANGE who I am. I wish I wasn't so mean to people...even when i'm being mean I feel SO ******** guilty afterwards...I will get so fearful that I hurt that person by saying what I said. I wish I didn't act so stupid in school, in front of all those people. I wish I could just change...to the person I am around the people I love most of all.
I'm smart and i'm compassionate and concerned for other well being. I take pride in the things I learn and i'm always open minded.
I wish...I hadn't take nthat picture...
I wish I wasn't stupid enough to hurt people when i'm not trying. I wish I could keep my mouth shut. I wish I could be good without having to try so damn hard. I'm so used to the lie of a personality I use in front of all those people.
I'm so scared i'm going to lose the one I love most i nthis world, becuase of my ignorance and stupidity. Becuase of my wrong doing. I keep hurting the person I love most...
I don't know how anyone could love me...it amazes me that he does. I'm simply amazed and so glad that one single person has managed deal with all this s**t.
When I hurt people, I think I get hurt ten times worse, knowing I did something to harm that person.
I want to change.
I don't like who I am...
Then again..like usual.
I'm just overreacting...
One of the many traits I should get rid of..but can't.
I'm sorry.
I hate my self so much...
Nobody wants to listen to what I have to say anymore. I have to write it in here. Not my mom, or my dad, or step dad, or my freinds...no one.
I talk too much.
ITT
My sister thinks i'm a lesbian...
I just want to be good.
Is that so much to ask of my self?
To not ******** up so much?
No one deserves to go through the hurt I put them through.
I need to SERVERLY punished.
 Guilt-na Doll · Wed Mar 18, 2009 @ 02:54am · 0 Comments |
