i've been crying more then usual l8ly...i mean...i've always been depressed but i always turn it into anger...i'd rather be pissed then to hurt.But i cried uncontrolably this week...i even cried in front of ppl...i had to go to the bathroom just to cry my heart out.In the morning im pissed...always in the morning...when i feel sad i always make it to where im mad..but..i just cant push that misery away...when it has its hands around my neck,i cant defend myself...i dont know what it is. Is it all the things i kept inside? Is because im not able to bleed it out?....i've cut myself today..but i cried more after that.im always crying now....i feel so alone...and this time i actually care...being without john....the only person that makes me happy...im rly sensitive about him not being around often....like seperation exiety..XDi even feel like crying now...i dont even think john loves me...he's bord with me...he doesn't want me..i think he still like jackie..the whole thing was so crzy...so im not sure..it doesn't feel the same as it did b4 i mean...i dunno..maby he's just always got alot of friends over now...and im being paranoid...i dun rly spend as much time with him as i use to....i dun rly spend alot of time with him period.....somtimes it makes me cry cuz i rly want to be with him...and i feel so lonely...alot of times i wish i was there with him..having fun with him but im stuck here....in this hell hole ...suffering.i love him so much...but i cant have him
 BunnXiLove · Thu Feb 19, 2009 @ 01:13am · 0 Comments |
