depressed i guess you could say...
i don't want to deal with anything or anyone...
work ******** me over almost everyday. weather i'm there or not i think about it and how much it sucks...shitty hours. crappy management. shitty coworkers. and to top it all off, the dumbest work environment on the planet. dumb ******** who can't do their job still manage to keep it after getting written up 10 times, but yet the people who bust their a** for their job get s**t for hours and written up for every stupid rule they make like touching a ******** sticker...
my relationship could be so much better. i've seen it. it was so awesome. everything was fine. we didn't argue over dumb s**t like me not wanting to make those stupid combos, or him being so selfish and still wanting to talk to her...i know some part of him does. i'm not stupid. it just bugs me to no end that she for some reason has to be all off in it.i miss the way it used to be...the sweet little kisses and hugs and "i love yous" that meant more than just what they are. coming up on 9 months and it's changed so much...i like some change but not so dramatic as we fight everyday...it's not fair or healthy. i love him so much. and i would do anything for him. it just feels like i'm the only one who is willing to even do it, let alone just say it...
and i miss my mom. it's a touchy subject. yeah she's a crazy a** b***h who pretty much ******** me up from the get-go. but she's still my mom. and i miss my brothers like crazy. i can't see or talk to them because of her...it's stupid. she threatens a restraining order on me and then when i don't come around to tell them i love them, happy birthday and stuff, she says no get the hell out of here and then turns around and tells them that i don't care. i have no chance. no option but to just give up on it. which sucks. cus that is my family.
i hate money. guh i hate it so much, it's the dumbest thing on the planet. all it does is get's moved from place to place. if you track a dollar it goes to someones car insurance company, to a bail bondsman, then an apartment complex for rent, an electric company and soon enough it may end up right back in your pocket. in the form of a check, bill or card it's all the same yet we get ******** over by every form of it in so many different ways. people are in so much debt, fees, payments, and for what? just to get screwed over in the end because you didn't have enough money at the right time.
what the hell ever.
i just want to give up.
can i? oh please can i?
i don't want to deal with anything or anyone...
work ******** me over almost everyday. weather i'm there or not i think about it and how much it sucks...shitty hours. crappy management. shitty coworkers. and to top it all off, the dumbest work environment on the planet. dumb ******** who can't do their job still manage to keep it after getting written up 10 times, but yet the people who bust their a** for their job get s**t for hours and written up for every stupid rule they make like touching a ******** sticker...
my relationship could be so much better. i've seen it. it was so awesome. everything was fine. we didn't argue over dumb s**t like me not wanting to make those stupid combos, or him being so selfish and still wanting to talk to her...i know some part of him does. i'm not stupid. it just bugs me to no end that she for some reason has to be all off in it.i miss the way it used to be...the sweet little kisses and hugs and "i love yous" that meant more than just what they are. coming up on 9 months and it's changed so much...i like some change but not so dramatic as we fight everyday...it's not fair or healthy. i love him so much. and i would do anything for him. it just feels like i'm the only one who is willing to even do it, let alone just say it...
and i miss my mom. it's a touchy subject. yeah she's a crazy a** b***h who pretty much ******** me up from the get-go. but she's still my mom. and i miss my brothers like crazy. i can't see or talk to them because of her...it's stupid. she threatens a restraining order on me and then when i don't come around to tell them i love them, happy birthday and stuff, she says no get the hell out of here and then turns around and tells them that i don't care. i have no chance. no option but to just give up on it. which sucks. cus that is my family.
i hate money. guh i hate it so much, it's the dumbest thing on the planet. all it does is get's moved from place to place. if you track a dollar it goes to someones car insurance company, to a bail bondsman, then an apartment complex for rent, an electric company and soon enough it may end up right back in your pocket. in the form of a check, bill or card it's all the same yet we get ******** over by every form of it in so many different ways. people are in so much debt, fees, payments, and for what? just to get screwed over in the end because you didn't have enough money at the right time.
what the hell ever.
i just want to give up.
can i? oh please can i?
