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A life of clay, the ever so waited for CHAPTER FIVE!!! |
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Chapter five-
The nightmares returned that night. I hadn't realized i was sleeping, until I woke up, screaming. Dad ran in, a baseball bat at the ready. I had, by then, curled up, and stuck my thumb nail in my mouth. Then nibbled at it. Trying to bite it off, since it seemed to be the only strong thing left in my body. Dad lowered his bat, and dropped it. Then he slunk over to me, and cradled me in his arms like I was a baby again.
That was when I was struck by a terror past mother. A terror that he would start it again.
"nightmares again?" He asked, my body was rigid against his, straight, and terror filled. I nodded. he gently kisses my forehead, then tightens his arms around me.
"I'm sorry." He says.
"For what?" I squeaked.
"My part in this. What I did to hurt you. You don't have to forgive me. And I know you never will, but I really am sorry, so very sorry." I can feel his tears falling into my hair. Why was he crying? Wasn't I the one he hurt. Did I hurt him?
"D-don't cry. I...." One of his hands left me, and he wiped his eyes.
"I swear, i wont ever do that to you again, Zander." A pang of guilt breaks my heart.
"Don't make a promise you cant keep." I say. And pull away.
The next day I take a long, a very long walk. Trying to figure a few things out. I was so very confused. In so many ways. Mother gave birth to me, and, I remember when I was little she would tell the girls about how hard it was to give birth to the two of them. And when she was ready to give up, I came. And she knew she had to keep going. Because she loved all of us so much. She would never give any one of us up. Not for all the money in the world. Not even if she was under the influence of satin himself. What changed? WHY did she hate me so much? And, I, my entire life, I wanted something/ But I cant figure it out. WHAT do i want, and why do I want it? My mother hates me. And my father (since I was 11) helped with her hate, and saw me as a... well, I guess a toy. ANd, of coarse, the question that has always bored into my brain was, WHY? What did I do wrong?
 demon strait outta_hell · Mon Nov 24, 2008 @ 04:21am · 0 Comments |
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