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I'm more than fully aware that no one reads this journal, especially the one that this post pertains to... But I need to atleast put my thoughts into words...
Recently i've started hanging out with some college friends a little more, and well... I'm just worried about losing my girlfriend. Yaknow, i was one of the kids in highschool that people said would never get laid, never have a girlfriend, live a life full of emptyness while i write away my life into books that never do as well as i'd like... So when i first went to college and found myself inlove with a girl who loved me back, I was rather suprized and happy beyond belief. We celebrated our 2 year anniversary in august too, which i was very happy to celebrate.
But recently I've just become worried that... maybe she's not as interested in me anymore... Yes she says that we "share something that she dosn't want to share with anyone else, something very very important to her" But... I can't help but worry and wonder... I voiced my concern to her on thursday night, but then on friday, she spent the day not really talking to me, busy sharing im's with someone across the room because she thought it was funny. So I gave up trying to talk to her seeing as she never really responded to what I said or appeared to pay attention... Then one of the guys showed up, and she was like "Hey, I'm gonna go get food with Kyle, alright? Watch my stuff I'll be back soon." then ran off before I could bring my face to not look depressed and say goodbye... The fact that she didn't kiss me goodbye or say "I love you" like we always do didn't help either. Then she returned like, about an hour and a half later, handed me food that by then was cold that she apparently ordered for me... I was too depressed to eat more than half of the sammich, and she didn't seem to notice how I was feeling...
Is she really not in love with me anymore? Are my fears going to become reality, where she runs off with another and I'm left as a memory? Will I be left in darkness again while she referrs to me as "her last boyfriend", known not by name because i've been forgotten...? I think I'd just have to return to my old life at that point, recluse myself from them, from her, from everything. Go back to venturing outside only when needed, for school and work, then spend the rest of my time at home, on either world of warcraft or gaia...
 LabTech118 · Sat Oct 25, 2008 @ 07:57pm · 0 Comments |
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