I sit here and wonder how much you mean to me. Which is more than anything on this planet and then lots of some.
As i do its like a door opens up and lets in the cool yet calming breeze. Allowing me to relax as it carries your calm soothing voice to my ears. You then step through the door and smile that smile that i cant resist.
But as this happens sometimes it turns into a nightmare and your with someone else. Holding their hand or holding them in your warm arms or the thing i cant even stand nor ever want to see you kissing them. It frightens me more than my worst fear, More than armegedon does. But then I nod the thoughts away and open my eyes. There you are asleep in my arms. I then stare at your beauty and it then it signifies to me that youll never leave. I then gently kiss your forhead and go back to sleep.
See this happens every time im with you or see you in someone elses touch. Its the only fear i cant stand cant even defeat. Someone else having you as their own. And it turns me inside out. But i slowly close my eyes and wish it away and by then its all done with.
I guess what im trying to say is. The reason why i broke down into depression at the dance is i cant see you with someone else. That and i have a very complex way of thinking about things. But it really does hurt to see you in someone elses hands or arms. Like i said its my worst fear. And when i saw you in that guys arms on the last song i felt empty. Is that a foolish thing to feel???
But anyways i love you more than anything. No word can explain it nor phrase. Same with how much i need you to be by my side. Damn i wish i could lock you away from the world but that would be selfish and rude of me to do. Or would it? Yes it would. I cant hold you back from your experiances. Even if they pull you away. But i can fight that i know i can. I can keep you by my side forever if i wanted to. And trust me i will. I dont care about everything else. Just you.
Nectar. No your not nectar. Your my singer my one true sweetness. I can never let you go never. I try harder. Ill try not to hurt you, try not to let you go, try not to treat you like an item. But i beg you, please dont hurt me. Thats all i ask for in return. I dont want to become like my father and become cold and dischanted. I want to be happy with you.
I know ive said this before so many times but i want to have kids with you. I want to see you grow old along side me. Feel your soft skin as i lay next to you at night. And die next to you. or is that to much to ask at this point and time? Is it? Or am i asking all the right questions and saying all the right things?
Well i suppose you will have to tell me.
I then open my eyes again to see you next to me. I pull you closer and gently kiss your forehead. And then i whisper "I love you" into your ear and as i do it you smile lightly as though as your dreaming you hear me and know that i do. I then close my eyes and dose off to sleep.
So my love please comment on this tell me what you think of it. Tell me if im wrong or not. I need to know.
And if anyone else wants to comment on this they can. i dont mind.
But still love tell me whether on this, on the phone, or in person. Tell me what you think. Tell me whether im taking this to far or not. Please i need to know.
Well i got to go. I love you and ill hopefully will be seeing you sometime after you read this. If its today, tomarrow i shall see you at school.
heart Love you forever heart
dai
 Kazuki Daisuke · Sun Sep 28, 2008 @ 12:03pm · 0 Comments |
