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I ******** hate this computer. |
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OK, so I was making a journal entry called Take Two!, right? I wanted to see what it looked like, since I had just written this gorgeous WOH day two entry. But does the computer care I spent like an hour on that? It basically gave me the finger and screamed, ******** YOU!! At the top of it's lungs. For some reason, I had been logged out. And the computer, hating me this much, didn't let me go back a page to where the entry had been like it usually should. Therefore, I lost an hour out of my life because of a stupid computer. So, sorry guys, I'm not going to try to re-write a deleted masterpiece until tomorrow. Instead, I'll give you a play-by-play of Unforgotten Realms episode one, the way I used to.
Rob:Uh, Mike? What are you doing?
Mike:I'm playing Unforgotten Realms. Wanna play?
Rob:What the hell is unforgotten realms?
Mike:It's a role playing game, Rob.
Rob:And you're playing it by yourself.
Mike:What? Do you wanna play?
Rob:Considering the internet's down, the cables out, my Gameboy is broken, the mall was closed, my bike's wheel is flat, all my other friends are on vacation AND that I lost my soccer ball, yea, I guess I could give it a shot.
Mike:Well, the first thing we need to do is create characters.
Rob:*grabbing a dragon figurine* OK, I wanna be this one.
Mike:Rob, that's a dragon.
Rob:So? I thought this was a role playing game!
Mike:*taking the figurine away* You can't play as a dragon, you have to choose a race from the book. How 'bout you be a dwarf?
Rob:A dwarf? What kind of jerk would pick a dwarf? Wink.
Mike:OK...next you need to pick a class.
Rob:OK, I choose gym. No, history. Wait, which one has you do push ups?
Mike:Character class, you idiot.
Rob:Oh. In that case, I wanna be a lumberjack.
Mike:Lumberjack isn't a class, moron.
Rob biggrin amn well should be. Who else is gonna wrestle a bear when it breaks into your house and tries to steal your wife, huh? Who? A bard? A barbarian? I don't think so! A lumberjack.
Mike:Look, you can pick any class from the book.
Rob:OK....I pick lumberjack!
Mike:Lumberjack isn't a class!!!!
Rob:That's not what it says here. *writes lumberjack into book*
Mike:Thanks for writing in my limited edition book, jerkface! God! Why don't you just be a sorcerer?
Rob:A sorcerer? What kind of jerk would pick a sorcerer? Wink!
Mike:OK, while I roll your stats, you draw your character in this box.
Rob:WHAT?! I can't draw!
Mike:God, it doesn't have to be perfect! Just draw something that looks like...
Rob biggrin one.
Mike:What is that?
Rob:That's me.
Mike:What's that on your face?
Rob:Huh? Oh, I was trying to think of the best sorcerer ever, so of course I thought of Abraham Lincoln. So of course I based my character off good ol' Abe.
Mike:Wow. Bypassing the obvious question in rebuttal, you can't dual wield nun chucks as a sorcerer.
Rob:what? Why not?
Mike:You won't have the exotic weapons feat, so you'll roll a negative 4 on all your attacks.
Rob:OK, but I can still use them, right?
Mike:Yeeeesss....but you won't be able to hit anything.
Rob:OK, but I will die looking like a super awesome ninja Abraham Lincoln, right?
Mike:....Why am I even playing this with you?
Rob:You like friends?
Mike:You are an a*****e.
Rob:If by a*****e you mean dual wielding nun chuck Abraham Lincoln, then I concur.
Mike:Fine. Now you need to pick a name. This should be good.
Rob:OK, how about Rob?
Mike:Oh, very clever, Rob. Just, wow.
Rob:OK, fine. Then I'll go with...Sir Shmoopy of Awesometon!
Mike:OK, fine, whatever. Let's get this train wreck moving.
Rob:OK. I get off the train.
Mike:No, you idiot! Uh. Jesus.
 xXBisexual FlanXx · Sat Aug 16, 2008 @ 07:52pm · 0 Comments |
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