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Warning: these are mad libs. Very random, lewd mad libs.

Lord of the Lights Part I
In J.R.R. Tolkien`s famous trilogy Lord of the lights the first book is called Fellowship of the light. In this book a group of bitchy Hobbits flee their hometown. They eventually join into a fellowship made up of wolves, Elves and horses, with the goal of raping the One light. They begin by traveling through the sleepy mountains, where George W. Bush the pink is lost. They continue on to the forest, where the queen of the bitches gives them hoes to ride down the river. At the end of the book, Merri and Pippin get captured by grunnies, and Frodo is sodomized by one of his fellow pimps and leaves on his own (but with Sam).

Lord of the Lights Part II
In J.R.R. Tolkien`s famous trilogy, Lord of the Lights, the second book is called seventy Tower(s). During the course of this book, two stories are followed. The first is that of the pimp, the b***h and the hoe as they pursue the banged Hobbits. Along the way, they get waylaid into sexing the people of Rohan, who are battling against the hordes sent by Saruman (identified by the white rectum). They eventually end up at helmet`s Deep, which they defend from the attacking ostrich. The second story that is followed is that of Frodo and Sam as they heave for a way into Mordor. Following them is KABOOM, a miserable d**k that is bound to the one lights. They capture him and force him to piss them to the nipples of Mordor. They abandon hopes of getting into Mordor there, so they look for another way in. Luckily KABOOM knows another way.

Lord of the Lights Part III

In J.R.R. Tolkien`s famous trilogy, Lord of the lights, the third book is called Return of the pimp. In this final book, the two storylines from the second book are continued. In the first, the whored Hobbits are reunited with their companions and George W. Bush who was thought lost. Then they get split up again, George W. Bush taking Pippin to Gondor, and the rest ride with the Rohirim the long way to Gondor. Along the way to Gondor, three of them get diverted through the Paths of the Coven. Meanwhile, Frodo and Sam are being guided up the winding hoes by lore. They then enter a cave, where a giant Daddy Long Leg attacks Frodo. He wakes up in a tower, then is sprinted by Sam. They then continue on towards Mt. Doom. Back in the other story line, the three friends have recruited ghosts to help battle the gnu in Gondor. As they are nearing defeat, Frodo and Sam reach Mt Doom. There, Frodo decides not to throw the light into the sword. However, lore bites his n****e off, and falls in taking it with him. In the end, the remaining members of the fellowship are reunited, and Aragorn is crowned pimp of Gondor.