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Some Story I Made In School <33 |
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May Strength Be Upon Me
I could hear his footsteps; light and swift as he came running from behind me. “Charlotte…” he breathed, his voice merely a whisper as he panted. I stood there, frozen with my back turned on him. Somehow, I couldn’t turn to see his face. “Char…” he called out to me again, his warm hand reaching my shoulder. “Please…don’t runaway from me…” he pleaded, with sadness in his voice. Still standing there silently, I felt him come up to face me as is sincere eyes begged for me to speak. “Charlotte…” he sighed, wanting to tell me a thousand words that he couldn’t find the right one. I calmed down and traced the outlines of his face gently with my finger tips. “What is it, Nate?” I asked, noticing his skin paler than usual and his dark circles; deeper. I felt his piercing blue eyes meet mine. “I’m breaking up with you.” he said. I felt my heart skip a few beats as he touched my hand, which was on his face and lowered it gently. His cold words shot through me like a bullet… and in that moment, I couldn’t think of something I wanted more than Nathan… I heard him talking to me, but I couldn’t help but stray away. “Why?” I trembled, my eyes waiting on his. “The truth is…” He took a long pause, letting out a deep sigh. “You’re not pretty enough for me.” he answered again, putting on a serious face. Suddenly, everything began to spin and blur.
The world lost it’s meaning and light.
The next thing I knew, I was laying down on my bed; my mother beside me while I was drenched in my own tears. I wiped the tears away, concealing them from her before she would notice these further. She offered me a warm smile but in her eyes I could see sadness, maybe disappointment because of Nathan-- she had always liked him. I knew she was worried about me so I tried smiling back, turning out that I wasn’t successful. I tried to open my mouth to speak as well, but my lips refused to part. My mom understood me and she pushed away the hair that touched my Teal eyes, giving me a kiss on my forehead. “Take care, Honey…” she said, shutting the door gently behind her. As she left the room, new tears quickly replaced the ones I had just patted off. Pondering on what happened wasn’t easy. I kept on going over what I did wrong, but I was unproductive. I couldn’t find any mistakes in our relationship… I just knew that I had already missed him. He brought He brought the joy I frequently had while we were together. All the positivity he taught me to see in everything was dying out. I looked outside the window, both confused and depressed. I couldn’t see the beauty I could’ve seen if Nathan were beside me. Instead, I saw sorrow and gloom.
I wept the whole night, feeling stupid because I had actually thought we were real and would last. Just to find out that it was all fake. My knight in shining armor had dropped me in the forest half way… because fairy tales didn’t exist. Feeling both embarrassed and disconsolate, I refused to go to school. Also afraid to see Nathan’s face and cry or break down when I see him with a girl prettier than me. In short; I wasn’t ready to take action because I was vulnerable and weak. I didn’t understand how girls would always say that their tears would eventually run dry because it had been two days already and my tears were no where close to dry. As each day passed; the pain increased. I felt the empty moments Nathan had once filled and it hurt me in ways I never knew I could hurt in.
After more days, I had gathered up my thoughts and decided to take a step outside, hoping it would make me feel better-- in a way I still wasn’t sure of. Fortunately, my mom comprehended what I was going through and didn’t object to what I did to make myself feel better. I kissed her for a temporary farewell. She gave me a warm and understanding smile as I shut the door behind me. The wind; chilly and harsh, hit my skin harder than I expected it would. Shivering slightly, I pushed the hair out of my eyes and took a deep breath. I was heading to the spry vigorous forest
I shared my first kiss with Nathan in. ‘I was ready to face the memories’ I convinced myself repeatedly, entering the lush, green forest. I saw the tree Nathan had written our initials on, from a distance. I moved closer to it, wanting to feel the engraving. My pale fingers traced our initials, I remembered all the beautiful moments we had shared there. Tears started forming in my eyes, but I looked unto the clouds, forcing them back in.
After a few quiet moments, I decided to leave the forest. It wasn’t really helping me recover. Before I was able to do so, I stumbled, feeling my bottom hit something hard on the ground. Curious, I pushed the dried leaves and dirt away, unveiling something that looked like a stone grave. It read:
‘Nathaniel A. Smith
A loving son….
…and loyal friend.’
I gasped, the tears that had formed in my eyes moments ago rolled down to my warm cheeks. “N-Nathan…” I cried, “He-he’s…dead? this can’t be!” I claimed, pounding on the hard stone as my fists bled. Fumbling, I found a sealed envelope. Desperate, I tore it apart, viewing the paper inside. It was written in Nathan’s handwriting, I was sure. I read it out loud to myself; afraid if I didn’t I wouldn’t comprehend the text.
‘Dear Charlotte…’ it began as I felt my heart pounding in my chest. ‘It is to my great advantage that you’ve finally found this letter. The truth is,’ I could almost imagine his lips producing the words I now read. ‘I’ve had Cancer.’ My heart stopped, remembering that I thought he looked paler the last day I saw him. ‘and I knew living was not an option for me anymore.’ I gave out an audible sob, my head leaning on to the tree behind me and continued reading. ‘I didn’t tell you this because I knew it would be even harder for you… and you know I hate seeing you cry…’ I speculated that some of the ink was wet in the part I was reading, most probably of his tears. ‘I just wanted you to know… that you are the most beautiful person in my eyes.’ My hands were shaking cold by now. ‘…and I will love you forever…’ the words were like nothing I’ve ever read in my life. His words were genuine and true, I knew this for sure. ‘But, Char,’ the letter continued, ‘I want you to remember… that because I am not longer there, I live inside of you… your happiness would be mine as well.’ I was having second thoughts of reading the letter further because I knew it would depress me even more. So I got out the pocket knife I had kept with me and aimed it’s sharp end unto my wrist. I thought I wanted to continue the letter, as I drew a light cut. ‘So live your life for me… fall in love again for me… create your own family for me…And then, when you’re done enjoying your life, I’ll be waiting for you like I always have… I love you much more than anything else, Charlotte.’ I finished reading his letter. My heart ached and my wrist bled. I stopped dragging the blade across my wrist for his words had told me to. I took a look at his grave, still unable to comprehend why such a thing would ruin our love. But then I realized that losing Nathan in my life here on earth didn’t mean breaking our love. In fact, it sharpened it by showing us how much we actually needed each other. Wiping my tears away, I picked up the letter and kissed his grave, “I’ll see you soon, Love…” I whispered, and faded away to face life without him.
The End
 Moonlight_Dancero9 · Fri Jul 11, 2008 @ 03:39pm · 1 Comments |
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