HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD ILL NEVER STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I JUST FOUND THIS THINGY ITS A BUNCH OF THINGS THAT PEOPLE HAVE SAID IN THEIR SLEEP HERES A TASTE OF THE FUNNYS (OMIGOD ILL NEVER STOP LAUGHING!!!!!
I was in a long distance relationship for a while, and we finally were able to meet, with her coming out to see me for a week. The first night, we are lying in bed. It is pitch black, and I am lying awake just thinking about all of this. I was just about to drift off to sleep when I hear,
"Cutting flesh with scissors is weird."
"What?"
"Cutting flesh with scissors is weird"
I froze. Who was this woman? Who did I let into my house and should I be freaking out and running? As my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest, I heard,
"The crunchy bees are under the window."
"Crunchy bees?"
"They're piling up and I can't sweep up them anymore. They are dying by the thousands!"
At that point I realized she was asleep (it was dark and she was resting against me, so I couldn't tell) and decided to have fun with her. She said some other funny things, but I've long since forgotten them.
AND ANOTHER......
My brother is like a fountain of these things. My personal favorite nugget is this:
"Sleepy Mexican community, stop feeding me marshmallows!"
Certainly not something that one expects to hear at 3AM.
My ex girlfriend once said in her sleep " I don't care if we're out of soap I'm not buying any peanuts."
Very confusing moment.
While not sleep-talking, my mother tends to sleepwalk now and then. Last time she managed to run into her door and gave herself a huge bloody nose. While still asleep she partially cleaned herself up, but it left this huge puddle of blood by the doorframe and splatters on her pillow. Blood is so difficult to get out of carpet, so it's still there...
Another time she was asleep and pouring water into her hand.
I'm known to mutter about 'killing them all' (more often than not directed at zombies), but since I sleep alone there's no telling what I've said recently.
I said this in my sleep, and had my roommate report it to me in the morning.
Back story: My name is Sam.
I sit upright in bed and yell:"AND NOW HERE'S SAM!!!"
Roommate wakes up, thinks I'm talking to him.
Roommate :"What the f**k are you yelling about?"
Me: "I just thought I should introduce myself."
In basic training, one guy was heard almost screaming, "WE MUST TURN THIS BED INTO A FORT"
I was at my friends house and his sister had crashed on the couch. He went to go ask her about something, I think, and she replied, "We'll put the leaf on the crown tomorrow, just go back to your entertainment pod." We burst out laughing, but she never woke up.
OMIGOD THERE SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALSO THERES MORE AND DUDE MAN PEOPLE GIRLS I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER IF YOU WANT MORE THEN ILL SEND EM TO YOU............... whee whee whee whee
Huggie_Wuggie Community Member 
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