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	A Journal-type-thing-doo-dad Weren't you paying attentnion to the title? Jesus Christ...

	For Sam
	For Sam

I didn't write it. I found it. And every time I read it, I start thinking about my friend Sam. I'll still never forgive myself for being the last to find out about her mom. But I'll also never forgive myself if she never reads this. She probably won't want to. but I'll just keep posting it till she does.

you never got to love me.
or i you.
(but i do love you.)

none of my birthday cards bear your
name.
we never baked cookies,
or your famous fudge.
you never spoiled me when
no one was looking.
i have been looking
for pieces of you
for years.

i’ve seen pictures of your face
in black-and white:
you are young and pretty.
i hear I look like you.
(but I’m not sure.)

i’ve watched your slim figure
dance on the television screen
in black-and-white:
you are young and pretty
and a cigarette dangles
between your fingers.

i’ve heard all my life
how those things
ruined you.
(i was never there to see it.)

i love how
They pretend
that you never left,
and how They pretend
that you were never there.

i’ve heard all my life
how your leaving
ruined Them all
(and I’ve seen it too.)

a pair of skates,
forgotten albums,
a glass carriage,
a few hushed stories,
a painted plate mended,
and a family that will never be,
are what’s left.

maybe He would smile more.
maybe She would be sane.
maybe They would be a family again.
maybe I would get sweaters for Christmas.
(or maybe not.)

i like to think of how things might be,
how they could be.
but they never will be,
because you are gone:
long gone.
and I know well that
His eyes will always be sad.
She will always struggle.
They will never be whole.
it will never be the way that it once was.
(the way that i never knew it.)

i will always dream
of what could have been,
and i will always wonder,
despite it all:
would you,
could you,
ever
be proud of me?

in your young and pretty
black-and-white face,
i have found my answer:

i never got to love you,
but i do anyways.

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Dr.Puffbean · Sat Sep 15, 2007 @ 06:40pm · 1 Comments


Dr.Puffbean Community Member «Prev \| Next» Archive \| Home [10/17/09 03:28am] [10/06/09 04:01am] [01/24/08 09:10pm] [01/19/08 10:23pm] [01/18/08 06:36pm] [01/18/08 02:45am] [12/23/07 07:10pm] [12/23/07 06:06pm] [12/22/07 01:44am] [12/22/07 01:05am]

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	User Comments: [1]


	That's...that's beautiful. I literally can't see the keyboard as I'm typing this because I'm crying...It's so true. That's so blunt but it expressed so much... I wish I could put that kind of emotion in my poetry or merely anything I do and write. I keep my emotions bottled though so nothing I do can compare to something you do. You're a trully gifted poetry writer. 3nodding I congradulate you on your amazing writing skills. Speaking as such...I would love it...because my birthday's in a few days...if you could write me a poem for my birthday? I would really love that. ^-^ I could add it to my journal as well. Offline [Frazzles] · Community Member · Tue Sep 18, 2007 @ 01:30am

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