i did not wright this
I can’t remember
when it has snowed
so much, yards
and yards of lacy ribbons,
wrapping the world in white
It’s snowing again.
Lately, it seems as if it's always snowing.
Or maybe I’m just noticing it more as of late. After all, I have been spending more and more time just sitting here, staring out this very window.
The snow is so white. When I was little, I would beg my mother to take me out, build a snowman with me. Sometimes she would, and she’d still manage to find some way to test me. Once she tied me up in scarves and I nearly drowned in winter clothing, and she gave me a mere minute to free myself.
In hindsight, it should have been easy for me.
…but then again, I was only five.
Thinking about this brings a small smile to my face. That’s odd… that hasn’t happened in a while.
I used to be all smiles…
What happened?
You happened. They happened. Everyone happened. Everything changed. I wish I could forget.
She rejects me, so she can chase you. For a little while after that, I think, I tried to push you away...
But you stayed with me. For a while atleast.
You… I didn't understand what you wanted. I still don’t know what you desire.
And I…
I sit here and stare out this window.
It wasn't always like this. You and I used to be inseperable. It was only after you got fed up with my antics and gave me my space...
That's when I realized I could never replace you... and I thought you could never replace me.
I guess I was wrong.
The snow is so white, untainted, so very pure.
Oh look… You’ve come out to play. The twins are with you.
Surprise, surprise.
You all look happy. It must be the snow.
I must say... your smile is beautiful. Untainted, like the snow falling around you.
Hmph... Suddenly I can’t take it anymore. It hurts... You’re smiling with them, at them, for them.
Am I so easily forgotten?
I walk into the bathroom. You’re beautiful, but I can’t have you. I was never good enough. It's my fault really. Your gorgeous, and I'm average at best. When I think about it, I don't understand how you could stand me in the first place. Was it pity?
The first cut wasn’t the deepest.
No, but it does relieve me. If only for a few moments.
I cut again, rivers of crimson bubble over the edge, falling to the ground, like bloody snowflakes falling from the sky...
Someones knocking on the front door. Is anyone else home...? I can't remember...
There's a lot of red now... It’s pretty. Would you think so?
It’s the same colour as my hair…
Would you ever notice that?
I hear the door slam downstairs. I guess someone was home after all...
I… feel a little woozy.
Someone’s calling my name. I can’t… place the voice.
I wish it were you. It could be you, but it won’t be. You have them now.
The white tub is tainted pink... is that… my fault? I’m sorry…
The door… is opening.
You came… I didn't expect you to come...
I hear your voice... you're shouting...
Why aren't you out in the snow?
Tears... I can feel your tears.. you're crying.
Did you know...?
Your eyes…
Are so…
Beau…ti…..ful…
I...
You should
have heard
him scream
i did not wright this
 My_wrath_1334 · Mon Aug 06, 2007 @ 09:41pm · 0 Comments |
