• Seizure
    2/21/2020

    Things are starting to blur.
    My head feels light, like by brain is being lifted right out of my cranium.
    A dense pressure suffocates me from the brain stem inward, creeping up the back of my neck like a venom in one's veins.
    My hand is shaking, now.
    "Stop!" I yell, though only internally.
    "Stop! I didn't tell you to move! Wake up! WAKE UP!"
    Now, I am in an awkward position; thrashing.
    My body is moving, but not doing what I tell it to.
    My mind is scattered, frightened.
    I need to wake up.
    Limbs flail and dribble slips from my lips.

    When it is over, my eyes slowly open.
    "Where am I?" is usually my first question.
    "Recite my address." are my next words, though, again, internally.

    I try to speak, but the words don't form.
    They're stuck somewhere in the mess of synapses in my head.
    Though I am well aware of dysphasia, the effects of it are humiliating.
    Sometimes, I cry when I cannot talk.
    Sometimes I hit the ground in anger.
    Sometimes my legs don't work.
    Sometimes my arms and fingers don't work.
    Though I am aware of all this.. it's still... terrifying.. every time.