The Journey

• Artist: mddavis2012
• Description: Not much to say, i was bored and im a writer so i wrote this piece
• Date: 10/30/2010
• Tags: poem

I fall to floor
i beg you to stay
you cant take it anymore
what can i say

its all over for me
my heart is broken
today you tore me
just take this token

its all i can plea
its the last thing i own
if u can just see
im all alone

take this knife
plunge it in my heart
take my life
just fill your in part

you are willing
you take action
the blood is quite filling
to your faction

you get up and wipe your lips
you walk out with pride
you walk out shaking your hips
and i still lay there tied

towards darkness i flow
i wasnt aware
where i should go
i lay there bare

i finished my trip
its all over here
i lay in my cript
im here without fear

Comments

[ClockworkQuill]

If you decide to capitalize "I" once, you should do it all the way through.
Poetry is nice, because you get to ignore the grammar and conventions that is the skeleton of normal writing, but you should be consistent unless you're trying to emphasize something.
I do like the imagery though.
Overall I give you a 3/5.