• Millions of elusive thoughts rushed through my mind
    I felt blank, disconnected from every mere thought that was so surreal, uncut ready to be ridiculed
    Why had I felt that any action or simple phrase that I said was at risk
    Like I was put under the huge microscope for everyone to watch waiting for that one mistake that would crumble my life to pieces
    Did I fear, fear it or was it the shame I would bring to my life that was slipping through my fingers
    I had not listened to myself or looked at myself for what felt like years
    I was bottled up in my own imagination where I was strong enough to face the truth that every part of me knew so well, but disowned by choice
    It was ironic how my world viewed me as the girl who had it all yet here I stood alone with nothing
    I was not afraid of the real me she had always been there lurking not ready to come out and be seen

    The darkness

    I breathed the breath that I chose to keep letting in
    I never figured out why though at any moment I could have stopped
    But I chose to keep going
    Keep climbing
    Fueled by the girl fighting ever so hard to show herself
    Prove what really happened

    The darkness

    It got to the point where the silence was slowly killing me
    Degrading me
    I was slowly dying and everyone knew it
    The darkness of my own mind hurt replaying the events that took place
    Over and over

    The darkness

    The looks and whispers became part of my life
    Breakthrough was coming but it was not
    Every time I felt it coming it drew back inside I was not strong enough
    To face the truth
    No one understood that what happened in the darkness
    Stayed there

    Just listen
    Don’t judge, or think

    There was a time the world was quite
    The only thing left was my heart
    My feelings
    I learned to listen and found what it was saying
    I tried running from the past
    It didn't catch up it overtook me blotting out the future
    The silence was so loud
    All I'd ever wanted was to forget.
    But even when I thought I had, pieces kept coming up
    Like the glass that falls from the break of a weak heart
    I became stronger
    I wondered which was harder, in the end.
    The act of telling, or whom I spoke to.
    But the story was all that mattered in the end
    Was I becoming afraid of the light?

    The light

    I spoke
    My story
    My shame
    Flushed away
    With the simple words that rushed out of my mouth
    The simple reminded I needed from the start

    Someone to listen
    I listened