Don't ever do it again

• Artist: 666-XIII
• Description: I fell in love with this girl only to show that even though i was every thing she could ever want not only that i was told from her lips i love you she still took my heart and broke it
• Date: 05/08/2010
• Tags: dont ever again

Why is it I keep trying
Why do you keeping coming in my dreams
Why can’t I ever forget you
Is there a reason for me
Is it that I am destined to be with you
No matter how hard I try I know
I know this will never be true
But then why must I still try
Is there any point
You have your happiness
I thought I had mine
But as it seems I was wrong
So now I sit
And now I wait
For one day that I can say you are mine
Until that day I must find
Until that day I must hide
Hoping that one day I can make you mine
Every dream I have you are there
Every night I sleep I wish I was with you
Every night I look at my hand
Every night I cry
My hand is cold you are no longer there
Each day that passes I ask
What is it I have done wrong
Every day you tell me nothing
But your eyes can never hide the truth
You don’t want me in your life
You don’t need me in your life
But still I wait
And still you lie
But I don’t care
The truth is to hard to bare
One day I will have your love
Until that day I will give you myself
And I hope that is enough
But for the moment my heart is broken
For the moment I am incomplete
But I will wait for the day you make me whole
I wish and I pray
That you are the one
And every day I say you are
But the lies make it hard to believe
So I will continue to cry
I will continue to die
But at least you know you have my heart
For now and forever
It is yours to hold
Please don’t break my heart
Please don’t break it again

Comments

[xXtemper_flared_angelXx]

I have my reasons why this poem is in my top faves, but all i have to say is the poem itself is heartbreaking....its wonderful....

[EmiPengy]

This piece touched my heart because it was something I went through. In the written sense...Lacking flow, and passion. There is feeling there...But it's masked because of how wordy you got.

[SweetKaykay222]

Awesome!

[Temaki-Moon]

4/5 i have my reasons but i don't want to express them. . . . .

[Echelon K_O_K]

I lost interest in line 4. This piece felt forced, almost as if you were more trying to convince yourself more than convey your feelings. without flow and true feeling, a reader is undoubtedly left with a bitter taste in their mouth. Your Idea itself is believable, as we all deal with this kind of pain at one point or another. They way you chose to convey said feelings needs work. I suggest more practice.

[Isaac Zephyr]

I feel your pain but your writing doesn't throw it forth. I only know how you feel because you tell me in your blurb. The piece lacks soul, lacks passion. And on the literary point it lacks flow. I stumbled my way through your peace, which isn't good for portraying that feeling once again. I can give you a 3/5 at best.