The Fires of July

• Artist: 290DarkStars
• Description: Luna, at this point, has been missing for 10 months.... I have now been working on dark and luna for thechnically, like, 2 years. I had to write a poem, so I wrote this, it has 10 syllables every line in an Iambic pentameter format. and an abab bcbc cdcd ee format to go with it ^^ enjoy.
• Date: 03/31/2010
• Tags: fires july

I know, my love, the heat seems everywhere,
as one would have expected to see now.
As summer held the time we used to share,
I must now find you but I know not how.

Both united by our unspoken vow,
and also July's dancing of the fire.
My heart leaps like the fires dance and bow,
for searching still, am I, for my desire.

For listen not to all the city crier,
my love! My love! with eagles eyes I search.
with you in mind my bones will scarcely tire,
For saints like you truly belong in church.

I need your love like I need sun and moon.
For like a fire I will be snuffed out soon.
-Dark
P.S.- I love you, Luna, with all of my heart.

Comments

[Echo Ligeia]

I enjoyed your poem, especially your vivid images and use of rhyme, like in the last paragraph. From your comments I can see that you struggled with the structure of a sonnet, but believe me, it is still art and it is still beautiful. I am not afraid to offer my own work as an example of a working sonnet (look up my piece Eleanor, if you wish). With your creative talent I believe that you could give this one the final touches that would perfect it as a sonnet. I give it a 4/5.

[290DarkStars]

cmpleately understood, Im a bt picky myself and I saw the blemishes of this one, unfortunatly/fortunatly for me, It met the requirements set by my teacher, and any tweaking would say otherwise. But I dont think that It should be jusdged as a piece of art from me, since I was shoved into a tight box of requirements.

[btwarrior95]

Well, I really like this one, but really, it could flow a little better, sorry, im a bit picky. But yes, this is a wonderful poem.

[Th3 PrInCeEsS]

I like it so much T^T nice rhyme 5/5