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Blackened wounds of fire and ash
Painful memories fly by in a flash
Tendrils of smoke slither around them
Like the thorned rose’s traveling stem
Feed the flames with words like coal
Rough and cool, dig deep to the soul
Dancing gracefully in the night
Snickering at their morbid plight
Silver blades are sharpened tears
Slicing through my darkest fears
Leaving there pools of blood
Crimson red, a cryptic flood
Eyes are deep as the candle’s flame
Sheathing tongues of disdain
Purest snow, a solid cloud
Corpses that it shall shroud
- by Brier Wolf |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 10/08/2009 |
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- Title: Of Roses and Tears
- Artist: Brier Wolf
- Description: A simple short poem written years ago.
- Date: 10/08/2009
- Tags: roses tears
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Comments (6 Comments)
- OnlyNoodles - 04/02/2012
- i personally like the rhyme scheme. Just depends which poem style your writing in. and ya the theme is over used, but you got it through in your own words. and honestly, everythings been done before... so hard to find your own theme no ones done in this age >.<
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- Brier Wolf - 10/17/2009
- Ah, all of you, thanks for the critiques. I will admit that this is not one of my better works, seeing as it was written quite some years ago. I felt compelled to put it up, however, seeing as I wanted to mark my progress as I became older. I take all criticisms to heart, however, and thank you for them.
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- Aislene Drossel - 10/16/2009
- Both of you can just get over yourselves seeing as how neither of you have any writings of your own up. oO; I can see the talent behind it and I can see it deserves a 5/5. Sorry that some people can't see past their own idiotic standards that have nothing to do with how good or bad something is.
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- Aislene Drossel - 10/16/2009
- Good god. Both of you have no sense of talent. h00drat, just because every poem doesn't have to rhyme doesn't mean it's bad that it does. The whole thing keeps a steady rhythm and the theme is there, it's just not openly expressed. Allysin, just because it's a commonly used theme doesn't make this unoriginal. o_o It's the execution that matters, not necessarily the content.
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- MeanyAllysin - 10/12/2009
- oh my god...i'm sorry but this poem sounds like 300 billion other poems out there. is there no such thing as originality these days? every poem i find in these arenas is about death, love, hate, blood, ROSES, tears...holy wow...i'm just saying, there a a billion ways to express sad emotions without bringing cliches into the picture...1/5
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- h00drat64 - 10/12/2009
- ...Please, not every poem has to rhyme. Not every line has to rhyme, sometimes it just comes across as forced and not artistic. The description was nice though, albeit I had no idea what it was about. 2/5
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