First Time

• Artist: NightPhantomPrincess
• Description: This Poem is about my boyfriend now and how when we were riding a jetski in the sun this summer, he finally told me he loved me. (He's a really shy guy when it comes to relationships so I was thoroughly surprised) :) And I can't imagine a better guy that I could be with :D
• Date: 08/23/2009
• Tags: first time

The sweet smile of days ago
Wander through my mind
I try to catch the images
From that wonderful time

The sun painted the sky
With bright, warm colors
Those hot summer days
That I had spent with no other

The picture album inside my head
Flips to that one moment
When all time had stopped
And I knew you were heaven sent

Your expression sweet and caring
With only love showing through
was the first moment in time
That you said, "I love you."

My heart sped up fast
As if I was falling deep
Instead of feeling broken though
It was your heart you let me keep

Instead of scars, you gave me hope
That you weren't just another guy
Someone who would always be there
Not someone who'll make me cry

I reminisce on those summer days
That we had wished would never end
And I smile and laugh at the memories
That in my mind, I play over again

Your heartbeat is my favorite song
Your smile, the best remedy
Your kiss as sweet as chocolate
You bring out the best in me

You make me want to be better
Than my absolute best
But at the same time
you make me feel perfect and nothing less

I would go on about you
For days and days
I'd sigh about your eyes
And all your chivalrous ways

But I only have this one page
And it's probably getting pretty long
So I'll put in a final stanza
Because without it it'd be wrong

You're amazingly beautiful
And I love you inside and out
And for once in my life
I am not so filled with doubt

Comments

[Kelita44]

Your poem is pretty good, however, there are a few grammatical mistakes I'd like to address.

The line "You're expression sweet and caring," contains the contraction "you're" which stands for "you are." So in actuality, your line reads "You are expression sweet and caring." You should have used "your," which is the possessive form of the word.

The last line, "I am so not filled with doubt" sounds awkward as well. You should have simply switched the words "so" and "not."