Skeleton Man

• Artist: Moneysucks
• Description: A little poem I wrote.
• Date: 08/16/2009
• Tags: skeleton dark memory scary

All hail the Skeleton Man.
Forged from bone and rusted cans.
Created by a very lonely man.
Putting to use an imaginary chemical lab.

All hail the Skeleton Man.
He's got a hatchet with his name on it.
Break those scum who might steal a wandering, strangers wallet.
And cut the dam when all the water wants free.

All hail the Skeleton Man.
Forged from bone and rusted cans.
Watches kings and queens from their rooms.
Says goodbye after they reach their tombs.

In Memory of the Skeleton Man.
We are all here.
We are all here.
Skeleton man is finally free.

Comments

[The Old Harbinger]

I must say, this piece needs work. The syllable count is confusing, the ryhme in the third stanza is random, better described as primitive, and some other tweaks like flow and execution in terms of key ideas. It has potential and the actual meaning of the piece (which is always the most important part) is clear but lacks the poise and essence essential to inject life into it. Make it swarm within the mind of the audience, make it leave behind a residue that will stain their grip on perception..