That day,That time

• Artist: bloody_black_white_zebra
• Description: This is about my father when after he died and when we will meet again i hope you like it!!
• Date: 08/09/2009
• Tags: daythat time

There will be another day,
and another time,
When I will be able to see you again.
Where we will be looking over our loved one,
when we dont have to worry or fear of nothing.
Where we can play,talk and sing.
We can watch our favorite shows,
and do our favorite things
Where we can't get 'nor have any tears.
Where it only has happiness,
and joy,
where we rest on very soft and beautiful clouds.
When we enter those golden gates we will be together forever.

Comments

[mirachan3]

I found this to have a lot of meaning but it reads more as a very short narrative than poetry. I like it nonetheless but it's hard to rate it. It obviously means something to you, and I udnerstand exactly where you're coming from but it needs to have more structure. Other than that it's great. I like your title it matches your content. So overall I give it a three for it having personal meaning, some creativity, and a little originality but it strongly needs structure.