• I am weak,
    Frail,
    Undeserving.

    That does not mean I do not feel,
    I do not cry,
    I don't peel away at myself searching for answers;
    To ask why, and think I know.
    To pretend everything away
    Forget ever wondering if you'll ever feel the same.
    About me;
    About nothing.
    I am unable to dream?

    Of us?
    Slinking around, blind,
    Clashing like glass, it's unnerving.
    The cracks on the sun bleached window pane
    Surprisingly, that bright orb used to shine, so I could find my way to you.
    To your comfort,
    And oceans with intoxicating foam finding its way to the shores.
    Where you and I debated and laughed,
    To where our hands touched and souls met.

    At least that was my perception-
    Until the ice came and froze over "Good bye"
    Not meaning it
    Just until next time, when you need exactly what I'm willing to give you.

    A reason? Infatuation, perhaps.
    The closest I'll allow myself to feel for you to love.
    Desire and lust,
    The excuse I give myself for wanting you
    So badly.
    And hope for the freeze to thaw,
    To reawaken, and wait for you to notice I'm still alive.

    For another perfect summer.
    Another mistake of a kiss ,
    And hormone driven signs of trust,
    And never knowing,
    And never thinking,
    That maybe we were never meant for anything more.