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The rust appears
Due to uncaring
It spreads and grows
Like a disease
It weakens and wears
Down strong metal
It never even had
A chance to survive
Holes and breaks
Worn away
The metal disappears
Completly gone
If someone had cared
To clean the metal
It would be there
Whole and strong
People are like
That rusty metal
Being eaten away
From misuse and no care
All it takes is a little time
A little care
And those people who died
Would still be here
- by Zombie Kebab |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 07/08/2009 |
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- Title: Rust
- Artist: Zombie Kebab
- Description:
- Date: 07/08/2009
- Tags: rust
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Comments (1 Comments)
- Hallow16 - 07/09/2009
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This is good ^.^ I like it. There are some errors, though. First, you have no punctuation. Needs to be fix. Second, 'It never even gave' would make more sense in the poem as 'It never even had'. Read it and you'll understand. There are one or two other things, but that's the worst of it ^.^ Very nice ^.^
Thank you,
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