Mess

• Artist: iChoclaholic
• Description: This is for all the girls who got hooked up with Jerks...
• Date: 07/07/2009
• Tags: mess sadness hurt cheating love

You took my heart,
and made it fly
up in the heavens
now I wonder why.

I let you inside,
and I ended up getting hurt
you went to hide
Cause you were being such a flirt

With girls that didn't belong to you,
you spoke words of love,
Oh how I wish before I knew
someone should give you a shove!

You took my heart
and stabbed it deep
I thought it was a dream
Please let me be asleep.

You made a big mess,
and left me lying there
filled with sadness
it's not fair

I don't wanna play your stupid love game!
You think being a jerk will bring you fame?

Well you were wrong from the start, now I hate you!
I wish I could harm you, but despising will do!

You made a mess of something bright
Now clean it up!!
Do something right!!!


You made a big mess,
and left me lying there
filled with sadness
it's not fair!

Comments

[Sunshine Valkyrie]

this is constructive critcism. while the subject is touchy and gives it voice, stanzas in a poem must flow, and have nearly the same amount of syllables for each one. the words would have had more flow to them if you had separated the stanzas a bit more. good points, however, were that the poem has a continuous rhyming scheme, and you kept on the subject of the poem, some people wander off. 4/5.

[Lynemrac]

So true...Well anyways I loved this. :]

[Tomas Youngblood]

wow......good job...i love it...5/5 (rate and comment on mine please)