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• Artist: hayatewarrior2
• Description: just me trying to get my poem writeing skills better tell me what ya think
• Date: 06/15/2009
• Tags:

Darkness comes life fades
Everything just goes away. I love you but you hate me
Always thinking always careing never getting memorys we were sharing
i told u i was sorry for the way things went wondering if we could be friends you said no told me to go away forget every day we spent looking at the stars wondering what our lifes would have been like in ten years. But now as all my memorys fade i fall apon this black blanket as red paint spills the ground i finally drowned out all the sorrow i had found all of this finally just dissapears and as i drift away i see you your in tears.

Comments

[Miku~Noaru]

Hey, it's been ten years. Um, hopefully the girl who got you in your feelings or boy! Idk. The person that got you in your feelings. Hopefully you guys have resolved this feeling and that you're feeling much better. The stanzas are a little hard, I ran out of breath reading. But uh I get the feeling you're going for. . . 3/5.

[firetasteslikebacon]

It could be better

[Epic Kittehsaurus]

Your stanzas are very disorganized.
It was a bit hard to read.
But it was a genuine poem, so 4/5 ^_^
You do a good job...just work on spelling and arrangement.

[hayatewarrior2]

please read and tell me what u think