• Lately I have gotten tired.
    I'm only 16 and I feel old.
    I'm sick of trying to defend myself
    Against people who are not willing to listen.
    Maybe I'm being selfish.
    My mother wants a golden girl from a trash heap,
    Some of my friends have already moved further down the river
    Than I can go right now.
    I'm not going to hold up this bridge on my own
    while everyone crosses it and leaves me stuck under it.
    Those I thought would hold it up with me
    Have also passed and crossed over.
    And because I still hold the bridge,
    They don't understand when I ask for their help
    So I can join them.
    It's the few people who will grab and hold the bridge
    When I'm ready to let it fall
    Who have helped me through this time.
    I have now crossed that bridge
    But I am no longer running to embrace them
    Those who had left me behind.
    I am going to stay with the people who held the bridge
    And helped me out from under it before the bridge fell.
    I don't feel like I will ever trust those people again
    Because they left me behind
    And never tried to under stand what I was going through.
    I can not fight
    To save something between two people
    if I am the only on fighting.
    Sure, if I tried I could do it
    But I'm not that kind of person.
    If they don't want to fight for what we have
    Then I'm going to lie down my sword
    And let the death blow come,
    For I have been fighting to long.
    To many enemies.
    The great force that is my mother,
    School,
    Myself,
    And my friends themselves.
    They have not tried to help me,
    For they fear my mother
    And do not see my internal battle that I have waged for my entire life.
    I bid you fare well.
    This battle has taken everything I have
    And you feel like you do not need to fight.