Alone

• Artist: a forgotten soul 13
• Description: This isn't very good in my opinion, but I want others' opinion so please vote and comment. =]
• Date: 05/03/2009
• Tags: alone dying

Time goes by slowly and painfully,
the minutes feel like hours,
hours creep by like days,
I sit here silently dying,
but you make no attempt to help me,
you just watch me, sitting there, staring,
my features appear indifferent,
but you can see beyond that mask,
you can see the pain in my eyes,
you can see the hurt,
you know the fate shown in my eyes,
yet you just leave me here,
why? why don't you care?
you're the only one who can save me,
the only one who can change my fate,
but you choose to leave me in the darkness,
you choose to leave me dying,
I might as well be alone.

Comments

[Fenpex]

Very interesting.
You sound rather depressed in this.
I'm sure I'm nobody to tell you this, but a lot of the time the best way to get rid of emotional pain, is by forgetting it, and then dealing with it once you're emotionally stable.
I'm no psychiatrist but if you'd like to talk about this, I'm all ears.

Thanks.
Check out mine?
http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/poetry-and-lyrics/vote/?entry_id=101931321#title

[Lady Gwendolynn O Danaan]

Interesting, strong and rather powerful sounds like a personal issue close to home to, if you know what I mean. My work is similar in fashion here and there. If you need a friend to talk to I love to listen. Just thought I'd put that out there.

[emeraldpuppy9]

this is actually pretty good, dont be so hard on yourself =]
the only part that i didnt rly like was "why? why don't you care?" it just doesnt flow well, maybe if u just took out the first why...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
come check out mine? (: