• always was the aggressive, quick-tempered, crazy girl
    always so energetic, so care-free
    now, i hide
    i yell
    i put on a mask
    so no one can see
    what i am doing to myself
    tearing myself apart from the inside
    hollowing-out the inside
    like scraping a pumpkin to make a jack-a-lantern
    why do i do this?
    why do i hide?
    i am afraid
    afraid of what they will think of me
    so i wear dark clothes
    i act spazztic
    fake smiles, fake temper, and grudges
    while i beat myself up
    i make things so hard for people
    and i dont do anything
    anything to stop it
    i just hurt myself
    emotionally or...
    sometimes physically
    but now
    im hurting others
    by hurting myself
    when will i stop?
    why does it feel so much. . .
    better when i hurt myself?
    i dont know why it helps
    but it does
    i wish.
    i wish i could find the old me
    from last year
    this one school year has changed me so much
    what will next year do?