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What is this feeling,
Welling up inside?
From the moment I left you,
Every night I cried.
Though it was my choice,
I did it for you.
I tore us apart.
I tore us in two.
But now instead of sadness,
And now instead of grief,
I'm feeling something different.
But can it be relief?
I didn't think,
That that feeling would come,
But now that it's here,
I know that we're done.
This arrangement was mutual,
And I know that you still care,
And it may seem like I'm avoiding you,
But the truth is, I'll always be there.
- by AFIrocksxx |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 03/26/2009 |
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- Title: Relief
- Artist: AFIrocksxx
- Description: Short poem, uhhh.... please leave comments! True storie too...
- Date: 03/26/2009
- Tags: relief
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Comments (4 Comments)
- QUEEN_ OF_EVRIITHIN - 05/17/2009
- relly relly good. i enjoyed reading alot. mi only thing is the title. i think yu could of done more with it to express the whole poem yu noe buh over all well done.
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- LaPenguina - 04/03/2009
- As I was going to include in my last comment, before I was so rudely interrupted by the "Sorry, comments can only be 500 characters or less" message... razz It is a good poem that talks about a very real, deep topic, instead of talking about .. The daffodils in the front yard and how they're all yellow and fluffy stuff like that..
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- LaPenguina - 04/03/2009
- Honey, I know the feeling. That was exactly how I felt when I broke up with my boyfriend at first, but y'know.. Things happen and life goes on. He and I aren't talking at all anymore because of some of the things he did behind my back. Ya need someone who's gunna be 100% faithful to ya, and who truly is going to commit to you, not make you feel unwanted. ('I thought it was my choice, I did it for you' implies that he made you feel as if he didn't want you, in my opinion; that's why I said that.)
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- Eclipse13579 - 04/02/2009
- Wow. Great subject, the pain of breaking up. I've never been on that end of it. They always broke up with me. The rhyming makes it seem strange though. Try just writing down how you feel. With the right stanzas, a few metaphors, and a bit more description of your feelings, this could evolve from a good piece of writing to a great one!
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