For You

• Artist: Vivian Arcane
• Description: This is for the one who means very much to me. We've just started going out, but we connect magnificantly. He's very special to me so I wrote him this poem.
• Date: 03/09/2009
• Tags: love night whisper heart

I am the night and the whispering wind
I am the stars and the moon
I am the mist that kisses your skin
I will embrace you soon
I am the hand, which holds your heart
As tenderly as my own
I will mend what’s broken apart
I will reap what I’ve sown
You are the one I taste on my lips
Your heart is the one I hear
Yours are the hands placed on my hips
It’s you I want to be near

Comments

[FuriazFTW]

Points for effort! I really liked the way you presented your poem.

However, it seems... lacking.

Certain phrases such as:
"I am the stars and the moon."
"I will reap what I've sown."
"I will mend what's broken apart."
"You are the one I taste on my lips."

...I've read these before in other poems, or heard them in songs on the radio. I hate to take some points off for that... but they aren't original statements.

2/5.

[290DarkStars]

Great work! You did great! And i'm HONERD to be the first one to comment on this worthy-of-comment-y-ness poem! mrgreen Great job!. A little friendly suggestion, from poet to poet, try to use stanzas. but it is stilll 5/5 to me! biggrin