The death train

• Artist: miss89
• Description: This poem is made from a nightmare I had not long time ago
• Date: 01/29/2009
• Tags: death train

Waiting on the platform for the train to arrive,
theres quiet, the dusk is coming.
The sound of the old clock on the wall
gives a deep klock everytime second hand moves,
killing the deadly silence.

Train rolls on the platform
people gets in, in silence as the grave
takes a seat and talk in silence - almost whispering.
Train starts to drive on the rusty rails.

Things getting grey and feel strange,
people gets quiet, even the train's sound stops.
Black out.
Suddenly people are laying everywhere - dead.
Blood is everywhere.

Comments

[meet ur angel]

i like it, i have dreams where, i am walking down a path, and a cloaked figure steps infront of me, and asks me where i am going(into the future,present,or past) and I answer I am going to where those who are lost are never found, and he takes me to a land, where bodys of children lay everywhere, and people are screaming in pain, and the angel Azreal is floating above cackling at those who are in pain, it is a good dream, although i am a fairly gruesome person (;

[miss89]

Thanks for your advices smile I appreciate it! Well, like i say in the description is a part of a nightmare, and I cant remember it all smile

[Gymnast Castor]

How does a train relate to dead people?

[Malina-Schwartz]

The poem is really good. The only quam I have about it is that there are some places where the "people is" doesn't make sence. Make sure to fix those, but I like the reality of it. At the end, you should describe the blood, if you saw it in your dream... It's really cool. ^_^