My story

• Artist: Larka-love
• Description: Idk
  
• Date: 01/14/2009
• Tags: story

My stories crying out to the world and yet I cant stop my crying.
There isn't a point to life when I cant even stop lieing.
I gusse I am just happy I am here with all my friends and you.
Isnt my life confusing I wonder what it would be like with out u???

Comments

[flowism]

simply amazing and wonderfully spectacular

[l_Shamrock_l]

Hmm I think you can invest in using some poetic devices rather than clearly stating it like that. I don't say it out of preference, as how you word it is up to you, but it will shorten each line of the stanza so you can build rhythm. Also watch the syllables of each line, as well. If the "beats" are off then the poem's rhyme scheme will be offset. Also your first line is redundant; try to avoid using the same word twice within any particular line; find synonyms.