• …Yet, even with that final push I promised you,
    I couldn’t do it.
    My best wasn’t good enough again,
    it wasn’t good enough for my final try,
    and I have nothing to say about it
    nothing to do about it,
    for all I do is fall on my knees,
    my tears overwhelming my will.
    All I’m able to do is feel my body shake
    from the sudden change of events.
    All I could control were my blinded eyes
    that fruitlessly searched
    for the one I made a promise with.

    I struggled to get back on my feet,
    my will to move and live abandoned,
    and I pushed with everything I had
    in order to stand back up.
    I hoped for something to keep me up,
    I knew I couldn’t ask my body
    that was so tired and desired to finally sleep.
    I searched for a will,
    a strength of some sort,
    to give me the energy
    that would fuel my body to follow my desire.
    And even when I asked for help
    from redemption and forgiveness,
    they ignored me and walked away,
    not noticing the tears staining my desperate eyes.

    I wandered around,
    my body getting the best of me,
    forcing me down
    binding me
    immobilizing me.
    I couldn’t keep going
    I couldn’t look for you anymore.
    I couldn’t get myself
    force myself
    to chase you any longer
    with the energy fueled by my heart.
    I couldn’t ask my drained heart
    for any more effort beyond its limits.
    I had nobody to ask
    nobody to learn on to keep me balanced
    while I chased you.
    Nobody
    But as I lay panting,
    my face covered in sweat and tears,
    indistinguishable from one another,
    somebody came up,
    reminding me of the purpose of the promise.
    I found the strength I needed to stand up
    I had remembered why I made the promise…
    why it existed since the beginning:
    to show you my gratitude.

    I bounded forward,
    my newfound strength giving my body
    one more breath
    one more push
    one more step
    and I chased after you,
    hoping to see your beauty once
    before I must lose you…
    Lose you because
    I began to lean on what I thought was a new hope…
    my steps were hesitant as I ran,
    my tears faltering my movements,
    and my doubts began to emerge,
    my will to repay beginning to weaken.
    And I fell yet again,
    so much harder than before
    So much higher than before,
    And I lay buried in the ground,
    tears sinking deep into the dirt,
    blinding me from seeing you in front of me
    you who watched my vain attempts to continue chasing you.

    You were so disappointed in me,
    so saddened by my actions,
    you turned your back to me,
    not allowing a single tears to escape from your eyes.
    You didn’t falter
    when you saw me struggling to reclaim my vision.
    You made no sounds
    when I fell forward in my vain attempts to find you.
    You didn’t reply
    when I cried for you.
    You didn’t even move closer
    when I crawled forward.
    I was filled with fatigue that numbed my body
    shame on myself for having such a weak body
    uselessness that I couldn’t do anything else for you
    and discouraged that,
    after everything that I’ve done and everything I’d strived for,
    That was it.

    My desires were crushed
    as I gave up on pushing far beyond
    the limits of everything that I had:
    my body
    my will…
    everything…
    I had no more support
    nothing that kept me moving
    nothing I could ask for strength.
    I couldn’t even open my eyes
    to see you in front of me,
    see you act so unemotional and uncaring.
    All I could do is cry
    cry so much
    and allow my tears to stain my eyes
    to taint the ground beneath me
    to unsettle my soul…
    My tears,
    filled with regret
    with all the pain I felt
    over the time with you,
    rolled down my cheeks
    showing how I felt
    how I wished this wasn’t the last time I had
    how much I desired for our bond to not be severed…

    Yet…
    even when I couldn’t see
    when I couldn’t move
    when I couldn’t feel anything
    besides how cold the world was,
    something gave me another push,
    giving me the final step I needed
    in order to catch up with you
    to see you.
    But…
    All I saw was your back
    walking farther and farther away,
    and for the final time…
    I felt defeated,
    But why was I so glad?
    You had severed our bonds
    so quickly and thoroughly,
    I couldn’t find any trace of our bond left,
    yet I couldn’t help but smile.
    I was so glad that you did it
    and showed no sign of regret or doubt.
    I was glad that,
    after all the pain I ended up giving you,
    you were able to walk off
    without shedding any tears,
    and I was glad for once…

    But I still felt so much pain
    so much coldness,
    I couldn’t bare it any longer.
    My tears continued to stream down my face,
    rolling over my weak smile.
    My knees gave away
    while I sounded off a nervous chuckle.
    That was it.
    I crashed into the ground,
    my body felt so light as it fell.
    I couldn’t move anything,
    my body finally found its resting place,
    wanting to finally sleep after all its done.
    My heart relaxed at last,
    all the energy it spent
    all the pain it felt,
    all of it just eased off of my heart,
    finally relieving the injuries it received.
    And my soul,
    aching from seeing the dream broken once more
    from seeing it broken one last time,
    became so cold and so hard,
    knowing that I would never have another chance to repay you…

    And you stand there in front of me,
    Your back towards me
    your eyes staring away,
    showing no sign of emotions.
    Your heart shows no signs of hesitation
    and you walk away,
    your back becoming smaller and smaller with each step.
    However…
    your bond with me was still intact,
    and I saw the tears roll down your cheek…