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What's the big deal?
He dumped you, so what?
You sing a sad song
and write worse words
You portray the way you feel...
with verbal vomit.
Pour out your broken heart
onto an empty page.
So what?
Some people think, "Hey! She can WRITE!"
I bet this makes you feel smart.
But, anyone with an artist's keen eye can see
it's just a bunch of verbal vomit.
It makes me feel SICK
to think that anyone could be so THICK
as to THINK that what you wrote was a work of ART.
I knew right away that your "words from the heart"
were only a huge chunk of disgusting verbal vomit.
A REAL writer knows that this is an art
to produce poetry you need some time and some smarts
Rewrite, after rewrite, after rewrite...
And there! It's not perfect.
But it's a good start.
But, I beg you, PLEASE!
For the sake of art,
produce something more then worthless verbal vomit!
- by Galindafied1 |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 12/09/2008 |
- Skip
- Title: Verbal VOMIT
- Artist: Galindafied1
- Description: I dedicate this poem to someone who produces verbal vomit and then says MY poetry stinks. She said I needed (quote) "anamatapia" and "repition" for it to be a poem and that my stuff belonged somewhere else. First, it's onomatopoeia. Second, it's repetition. Third, that's not true. To be a poem, you must have at least one of the following: alliteration, internal rhyme, assonance, external rhyme, and various other things. I will not name them all.
- Date: 12/09/2008
- Tags: verbal vomit
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Comments (5 Comments)
- emeraldpuppy9 - 02/11/2009
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oh, and want to come read/rate/comment on mine?
i know i said i did one of them in about 15 minutes and thats true
but i know its not perfect, i just want some feedback; but dont just go to trash me
http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/searches/?val=emeraldpuppy9&searchby=user
kty - Report As Spam
- emeraldpuppy9 - 02/11/2009
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i totally see your point!
poetry and writing does not have to have onomatopoeia or repitition, true poetic writing comes from heart and often times need a great deal of revision and still do not appear perfect in one's eyes. - Report As Spam
- hey girl hey XD - 12/11/2008
- wow...thats so good
- Report As Spam
- Kamen Rider Zanki - 12/11/2008
- I freakin love it
- Report As Spam
- Jasper CuIIen - 12/10/2008
- thats not that good2/5
- Report As Spam