Darkness

• Artist: hi5201
• Description: This is a poem I oneday wrote and I was told that it was pretty good. Tell me what u think of it, please.
• Date: 12/08/2008
• Tags: darkness

♥I see stars in the night sky
And in the day, I see birds that fly
I see dreams that fade
And tears that are made
The hearts that are one
Have been destroyed and is done
The things that I fear
Have now become near
And all that I have and care
Has now been worn away and bare
And all that I had
Truly makes me sad
Though Things are good
I'm just not in the mood
So now I wail
And am pinned with a nail
So now I'm dark and scared
Like all those stockers who stared
Like all those bats in the sky
That go everywhere and fly
For all that I seek
Is now faded and weak♥

Comments

[BunnXiLove]

kick a** :3

[xXDevourer of CookiesXx]

i like the rhyme scheme :]
i try to make every poem i write like this :]
4/5 :]

[LOL YOU FAILED EPICLY]

Pretty good sis. 5/5

[Cottoncandyocbra3]

I liked it fairly well, I suppose. Decent imagery, average rhyming. could use some work, but...eh. 2.5/5. Feel free to hate me for not giving your poem 5/5.

[WynnFir3]

Thanks for the comment ^^
This is really good. I like the imagery, and the rhyming is a nice touch. I know how difficult it is (for me at least xd ) to write poems that rhyme, so good job ^^