• What happened to the memories from child hood?
    I wish I could stay there
    In the moment
    when you can make best friend with a stranger
    when the worries of the world melt away
    Were you fell useful
    BUt not now
    for me I'm useless
    The tears spilling from my eyes prove it
    the bruises on my arms show it
    I'm loveless
    his punches prove it
    the lipstick on his shirt show it
    I'm worthless
    The abandon ment proves it
    The hate shows it
    As I let the tears flow I look in the mirror
    I still have a smile
    The same pretty plastic smile
    The one that hides me from the world
    The one that puts reinsurence in my moms heart.
    And as I see him approch me I wipe the tears
    BUt the smile remains
    Thats what hurts me
    He has me like he wants me
    Never admitting his distrust
    Thinking I accept his apoligies
    the kisses of a faker.
    As I lay in my bed
    they begin to flow
    I run to the bathroom
    I look at my sickning face
    stricken with the same smile
    I pull the razor
    And instead of tear flow
    its blood.
    So much disapates from my body
    I black out.
    I wake up fine with no cuts only to look down at myself
    bleeding to death on the floor.
    I'm free!
    I look down once more
    and see myself
    what I've become
    Painless

    Because the smile on my face isn't plastic.