Being Invisible

• Artist: Psychedelic Moon
• Description: This was my first poem i came up with when i was bored, along wit ANIMALS AND ME. This is what i suffer in reality so i'm just givin a little taste to everyone on how i feel about my guy friend.
• Date: 11/26/2008
• Tags: being invisible

Every day I think about you.
Every night I dream about you.
Every moment you keep hurting me, leaving a big wound in my heart.
Even your existence makes this wound grow bigger and bigger making my heart shatter to pieces.
Eventually my love for you will be buried with your blindness.
Eventually you will fall for me until I stop loving you.
I wonder when I will be noticed.

Comments

[yellowfloowers]

its alright i guess

[FairyAiko]

For a first poem it's pretty good. I think you need to work on stanza a bit more, as well as flow. If you had just said "...this wound grow bigger making..." I think it would have flowed better, but that's just my opinion. 4/5

[LoN3r x]

im wit ya there