Her Eyes

• Artist: Spader Beledineigh
• Description: its something I wrote when I was young... it came to me in a dream of a scarlet princess, an ahnk surrounded in purple flames and a dream of a beautiful future...
• Date: 07/31/2008
• Tags: eyes beauty love fire flame

Twas her eyes that lit the sun aflame

Once thee set eyes upon her, you shall never be the same

Tis her smile that makes the stars seem dull

Aphrodite herself covers herself in shadows full

Her warmth keeps the hearts of many inspired

By many her beauty is admired

Yet this strange feeling, tis not one thy can describe...

Not one that can be known to a priest nor a scribe

But only to a poet this majik of hers should appear

Only the finest product of God, can one hold so dear

There tis nothing more pure, than to see her face full of glee

Then truely you will know, what it means to be free.

Comments

[Cherry Cough Syrup]

Cool I like it!^^ Very well done!^^ How old were you when you wrote it since you said it was written when you were young.

[Qwad]

This is really good, I liked the way you kept reffering to her as some sort of flame smile

All I suggest is that you think about the context of the words your using. Its okay to use archaic words but have a look or research what context they should be used in.

Other than that I found it to be amazing. Keep up the good work 5/5

[SmrtAznHottie]

I like it. HAVE YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF A FREE VERSE?!
Who are YOU to criticize others?!

[The Furry Little Problem]

Oh please, Someone actually gave you a bad rating because of your spelling!? Because it didn't rhyme? Spelling is a minute detail, unimportant compared to the message the poet is trying to convey. And Rhyming!? It constricts you, you can only pick words that fit the rhyme sceme. It's better to express yourself well then to sound like Dr. Suess.

[Atheistic Acorn]

It's okay, however you made spelling errors. "Truely" is actually spelled "truly." You also used commas in areas you do not need them in. 3/5

[bluebird94]

awww, how sweet is that. its so pretty. i like the way you wrote it. me like smile