My emo poetry

• Artist: shadow side of my heart
• Description: This is how i was today so i was writing this poetry...........
• Date: 07/25/2008
• Tags: emobloodsorrowpaintearsdeaths

I wait in the rain i waited but you never came.......I die in the rain of my sorrow and pain......
I cry tears of blood.... My tears flow to a sea of sorrow and pain i felt like I was killed here my blood turn to ash as i wait once more................ once more i die again in this rain............
I saw you with a other person and i die............ I die in my room I woke up in a room of
blood, but when i really woke up it wasn't a dream but it was my life......

Comments

[Durff]

I love this peopm it ish best poem I ever heard.
^^

[Schizophrenic Angel]

Try reading some of the poetry around here, and get a feel for what it's like. Check out the poetry and lyrics forum to see some great poems and lyrics. Study them a little and pick up on the forms and imagery they try to use, and maybe learn some of the words they use. Stupid comments limit post size >.o, but I would like to read more of your poetry once you start improving.

[Schizophrenic Angel]

I... fail to see how this is poetry. There isn't much rhythm except for maybe in the beginning, and it just becomes a string of words at the end. Overuse of words like 'pain', 'blood' and 'die' do not make for a good poem, and actually breaks up the rhythm even more.You have good intention with your try, and it's something most of us can relate to -- a bad break up.

[mbt2n]

I wouldn't go as far as calling it poetry, but it is poetic. It's romantic, tagic, passionate, and those things are the bulk of what poetry is. But I think in order to call this a true poem it needs a rythm, or lyrical formula, like a rhyme scheme for example. Sorry you felt sad though!

[Karak15]

Love does not make this world go round. Love is great to have, but you can live without out. I hope you see this. I did enjoy this poem, and the style you wrote it in was interesting. You spelt some things wrong but that's ok. I suggest putting it on word before submitting so the grammatical and spelling errors don't detract from your poems.