Lies, Hell and a Dream

• Artist: Lelar Bear
• Description: This is self explanatory. I really dreamt this.
• Date: 07/24/2008
• Tags: hell fire dream screams

Lies, Hell and a Dream



I can feel my heart beat in my mind

I will myself to turn back the hands of time.

It's to late

I push open the gate

that leads to the eternal flames of hell

burning flesh, bones and souls I smell

Noone knows my name but I'm condemned

Not even my pain is known just my sin

The fire stares at me with the devil's eyes

the crackles of the erupting flames echo my lies

I killed an unborn child out of fear

never once did I shed a tear

I had felt her heart beat

felt the kick of her lil feet

Yet I took her life as if it were my own

My punishment is to burn in hell alone

People glare at me with a hated desire

Shoving, kicking, and pushing me closer to the raging fire

My screams echo through the world of the underground.

My body goes flying through the air and hits with a sickening sound

Bleeding, bruised and burning I cry "forgive me!"

My words are drowned by hell's flames of eternity

My tears soak my pillow as I awake from this dream

Isn't it strange how real it does seem ?

Comments

[Atomic Rock]

I'm guessing you're against abortion? xD
I really liked it, nice job. Gives the reader an entirely clear picture.

[Timeless Moment]

This was really intense. I really liked it for the most part, but occasionally it gets a little wordy and forced to rhyme. The rest flowed very nicely. Good job!! 5/5

[0Angelicus0]

It was a pretty dark poem! I definitely loved the 'cheap wine,' line. Not cliche, but totally understandable! It does have a lot of repetition of other dark poetry, so try other poetry and other ideas! Whatever comes to your head is experimental can help you make your poem improve! 4/5

Sorry, honest rate. crying

[likeicare11]

it seems overall really nice im not a very deep person, i also dont really like deep things but i lov this. its very nice and it seem way to real ^^

[Ravisher Knight]

I enjoy the overall idea of this, but there are a few spots where the rhyme seems forced. Like the only reason you switched the words around is for the rhyme. 3/10

[Monblanc]

I'm not a religious person, but reading this, it made me wish that I never had to deal with going to Hell. The way it's described is just a little too much for me, because it gives such a clear picture into your eyes and feelings. 6/5

[Sqark the Great]

Lela like ive said before you shouldn't of had to go through everything in life you have. It really makes me think about life. 5/5