#681: Orion

• Artist: Sapphire Rune
• Description: I apologize if my style is too obscure for those who want messages to be straightforward, But, hey! This is my style and I'm proud of it. Being heavily laced with metaphors, it's open to all kinds of interpretations.
  
  But I hope it touches you guys on a certain level since this is about warding off a feeling for somebody who has done you harm and you don't want to be with anymore.
• Date: 07/19/2008
• Tags:

Toasted inside-out
The cheers get diminished by
Spurs racing feverishly on silhouettes
With this worn-out fall
I boast about my homecoming decision

Detected I've risen out of
My seamless prison held tightly
In these trembling fists
They cannot feel the dew
The serpent lied

With my forces dwindling for no reason
I crack and lose edifices
I'd say that the spindles should
Get behind and pierce the flask

And there's no resisting of the temptation
Pictured by the saddest night
So then I run to Orion's prison
And weave what may save me from you

The light reaches my toes
I must get up but my will is
Diminished by unwanted silhouettes
In my own words, you'll become something
But that's like wearing those silhouettes

Detected I've risen out of
Your dreamless prison held tightly
Within your pessimist's plague
It cannot call on the dew
The serpent lied

With my forces dwindling for no reason
I break and lose relevant pieces
I'd say that the spindles should
Get behind and finish the task

And there's no resisting of the temptation
Pictured by the dullest night
So then I run to Orion's prison
And weave what may save me from you

The serpent lied
So then I run to Orion's prison
If that's what you'll boast as your decision
As I weave what may save me from you

Comments

[Kitty of Despair]

*cough* ur absolutley amazing at this whole writing thing
I now feel depressed with ur sudden godliness

[xllxdollscancryxllx]

keeewl!! Ü

[-Kazeken07-]

I Vote~! Good Job!

[Sapphire Rune]

Lalalalala

[x_S H i K i G a M i_x]

haha nice...mas maganda ang poem mo kaysa sa poems ko...

[Urine Pot the Hero]

Deliberately trying to be vague will only put off your readers. Pick a narrow range of metaphors and build your allusions and imagery out of them, using connotation AND coherency (if not of what you're trying to say, of how you're presenting it) to make your poetry accessible to someone who isn't you.

[StevieHummingBird]

that was really awsome!!^_^