Untitled Sonnet

• Artist: iBrightScales
• Description: During the first semester of English I, our teacher told us to write a shakespearian sonnet. I'm submitting this for fun, & i'm hoping that it doesn't completely suck. Please comment with your honest thoughts XD
• Date: 07/15/2008
• Tags: sonnet untitled

Clocks breaking in broken hands
Time is slipping away
These weights and chains won’t let me stand
I won’t last another day

The time keeper’s holding a simple life
Shadowed for none to see
With childish whims I’ll end this strife
In my world of make believe

So lets dance during the midnight hour
Until time moves us along
From the fading stars we’ll gain unholy power
To sing their monolithic love song

Don’t look back to what you’re done
Turn your eyes to the burning sun

Comments

[Cottoncandyocbra3]

Quite superb, it really is. I am becoming a fan of your work. I only had a problem with the first line. Having breaking and broken n the same line seemed somewhat repetitive to me. If you believe that thought is insane, feel free to ignore it, 'tis but merely a thought.

[X-Morphine-x-Kisses-X]

Oh I love this, it is so amazing! Keep up the wonderful writing, don't ever stop. 5/5

[the_ashen_child]

it written well and has a very nice flow
good job!!!

[Akane_Reicheru]

its really good. i love the second stanza