"The Earth"

• Artist: iResell
• Description: A poem I wrote..I appreciate comments...I would love constructive criticism also ...to help with my future poems!
• Date: 11/22/2008
• Tags: earth

The Earth has allowed us to live our lives
Now it watches displeased, and cries
It blows each wind crying out
Hoping we'll hear it's subtle shout

All the things we took for granted
Cutting trees we should have planted
The infinite thought of our resources
Now is ending in many courses

Now our world is sinking down
Slipping under, yet refusing to drown
Soon the water will atop earths head
We will finally see what we've done

And why we are dead.

Comments

[loonett]

I agree with many of the oter people.The last line might have been better if it said "Soon the water will atop earths head and we will be dead." And then you probably add another line..4/5

[Samuel Lynndexter]

wow 5/5

[XxXBlackFallenAngelXxX]

I luv it because it's true. xD Right now, we r gradually digging our own graves. ^,..,^ 5/5

[Inspiration Staff]

The ending didn't have the same, strong flow. I wish it did. it would have made this poem PERFECTION!

[Aria di Bellezza]

VERY GOOD!!

this reflects my feelings too ^^

[Yoshidious]

4/5 ;]

You need tuh make it more stronger to convince people to save energy and stop earth's crisis.

[Ladycathren]

I don't like the way you ended it, because it doesn't flow very well right there. All in all i'd give it a 3/5